June 2009

  • Move over Coca Cola – Cow Urine, Soft Drink of Choice

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    Who wants Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Root beer, or Mountain Dew when you can have the new soft drink of choice – Cow Urine?  In India, it is the new craze and it is called “Gau Jal” or “Cow Water” in English.  This new soft drink was undergoing tests and should be launched shortly.  This new soft drink is being made by the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) which is India’s largest and oldest Hindu Nationalist group.

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  • Michael Jackson The King of Pope

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    Michael JacksonMichael JacksonWhy is everybody and their dog (and perhaps their cats) acting like the world is a worse place without Michael Jackson? Why are we pretending that he wasn't a huge weirdo and that he wasn't more than likely a child molester? Seriously, I will miss Michael, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I felt like he was misunderstood, or a great musician, or a great guy that I would have liked to have a beer with. No, I will miss Michael Jackson in exactly the same way I miss the circus Freaks at the Carnival- because he is the weirdest person on the planet.

    My personal favorite comment on Michael Jacksonwas a typo referring to him as the "king of pope"....speaking of which, I wonder if the Pope has weighed in on the subject. Not, mind you, that I have any more respect for the Pope than I do for Michael Jackson, but it would be interesting to hear his views on the subject.


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  • Speaking of Celebrity Deaths – A Look Back at Katharine Hepburn

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    It has been six years ago today that actress, Katharine Hepburn (May 12, 1907- June 29, 2003) died at the age of 96.  Hepburn was well known in theatre, film and television, winning four Oscars for Best Actress (out of 12 nominations), an Emmy in 1976 for ‘Love Among the Ruins’ (out of 5 nominations), 2 Tony awards and 8 Golden Globes.  Katharine Hepburn was also ranked by the American Film Institute in 1999 as the Greatest Female Star in the history of American cinema.


    Some interesting facts that you may not have known about Katharine Hepburn:

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  • Stay Healthy – Date a Comedian

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    A blonde, brunette and redhead all went in for an interview for an administrative position.  The brunette is called in first.  Her interview goes extremely well, she seems to be what the company is looking for and the last questions the interviewer asks her is, “How many D’s are in Indiana Jones?” The brunette is quick to respond (slightly thrown off guard), “One!?”  “Perfect” said the interviewer, we will be contacting you shortly about the job.  The interviewer then calls in the redhead.  She is a little more fiery and sassy than the brunette, which the interviewer likes.  Her interview goes well and the interviewer asks her the same question, to which she replies, “Is this a joke? One!”  The interviewer tells her that this is not a joke; they are asking everyone this question.  He is pleased with her answer and tells her that they will be contacting her shortly about the job.  The interviewer then calls in the blonde.  She is charming and cute, but not as smart as the brunette and redhead, but he loves her personality.  The interview also goes well and he asks her the final question, “How many D’s are in Indiana Jones?”  The blonde sits there for a minute, really thinking.  She starts to count on her fingers.  She then asks the interviewer for a calculator.  The interviewer, confused, hands her one.  After punching in a few numbers, the blonde finally says, “22!” “22?” The interviewer says.  How did you come up with that number?  The blonde says (to the tune of Indiana Jones), “Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da Da, etc.)

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  • Perez Hilton's money is dirty

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    HaHa- Perez Hilton is a fool. The celebrity blogger who gets paid for being a judgmental little whiner, has had a rough week. First he forfeited his gay rights credit by calling Black Eyed Peas manager Polo Molina an “effen fa&&ot”. He then forfeited his dignity when he got punched back in the face by Mr. Molina. He also dragged it on by making videos about the whole mess when he should have just let his bad behavior go the way of Michael Jackson. And now he had his credibility removed personally by the mother of slain gay man Matthew Shepard, whose foundation is one of the biggest gay rights groups in America. It seems Mr. Hilton was counting his law suit chickens before the hens even filed any paperwork by promising that any settlement he gets from the pending lawsuit would go to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Well, except that the foundation doesn’t want Perez’s homophobic statement money.

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  • The Problem with Drivers/Driving in the Seattle, Bellevue, and remaining Puget Sound Region

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    All day long, I drive the I-5 corridor for work. Sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out. I have to schedule my appointments around traffic because if I want to go anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, it requires planning and knowing the streets. There are many types of drivers in the Puget Sound area piss me off, so here's a few I would like to share with you.

    1) Rushing to Work Guy
    What he looks like: He's driving kind of slow, and you keep seeing him bobbing his head up and down.

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  • Thriller, by Prisoners....

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    Michael Jackson is dead. In the BEST tribute ever, once again and without further ado, the Phillipino prisoners performing the Thriller Video....

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  • OMG! Michael Jackson is Dead

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    Michael Jackson, my Hero?Michael Jackson, my Hero?OMG! Michael Jackson, pop hero of my youth, and the quite possibly the strangest American in the ENTIRE history of our nation has just been rushed to the hospital and is now DEAD.

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  • What Students Leave Behind.....

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    Inflatable PoolInflatable PoolAs Jim Morrison crooned, "People are strange, when you're a stranger..." I don't think the talented Mr. Morrison was  necessarily referring to the weird things that university students leave behind in their dorm rooms at the end of the semester, but since he is no longer with us, I can't be sure.





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  • BREAKING NEWS: Charlie's Angel and 70's Icon, Farrah Fawcett, 62 Dies

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    FarrahFarrahThe beautiful and talented Farrah Fawcett died this morning around 9am from a long 3-year battle with anal cancer.

    Hours before her death, Fawcett was given her last rites and friends close to Fawcett told Barbara Walters that she was hours away from dying.  Barbara Walters announced it in the opening of her Good Morning America show. 

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  • Burger King's 7 Inches

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    Burger King AdBurger King AdSo, Bacardi wants girls to get even uglier girlfriends to look better by comparison. Now, Burger King wants girls to "put seven inches in our mouths"? This does not appear to be a joke, either. So, yet again, I find myself asking the same question again and again, "What crack pipe are they smoking?"


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  • Breaking News: A Comedy Could Potentially Win Best Picture this Year!!

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    As the quality of movies being produced in Hollywood goes down, the amount of best picture nominees goes up? Apparently about 60 years ago, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences decided to limit the number of films that could be nominated for best picture to only five. Now, after 60 years of limiting the genres and films that can be selected, the Academy has upped the limit to ten.

    Now that ten movies can be nominated for an Oscar, does this mean that the quality of movies being given a "best picture" nod is going to diminish? Long gone are the days when films of high caliber were produced and respected. Not to say that all of the movies produced today are crap, they're not, but needless to say, I think there are a lot of crappy movies out there.


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  • The Stench of a Woman

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    Perfume BottlePerfume BottleI hate your perfume.  Yes, I know it is probably expensive and has a French name with a rather delicate flower on the label. I know the bottle is crystal and that you feel womanly and sexy when you put it on, but I will say it again, I fricking hate your perfume.

    Whenever I step into an elevator with you, I feel like my skull is going to explode because your fricking expensive French perfume stinks to high hell. Not only this, you usually don't have the good sense to use it wisely, with discretion. ie, a little bit at a time. No, instead, you dowse your whole entire body with the she-ite as if you are ready to go into a chemical warfare battle.


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  • Another Republican Sex Scandal

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    Governor SanfordGovernor SanfordLocation: South Carolina The "Offender": GOP Governor: Mr. Sanford The Location of Said Affair: Argentina, because the Good Governor wanted a  more exotic location for his  little "tryst".

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  • Are Food Corporations Manipulating our Food?

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    The Evils of Chocolate Chip CookiesThe Evils of Chocolate Chip CookiesIn New and Creepy Food Information you Probably Didn't Want to Know....

    Dr. Kessler (you may recognize his name as the former FDA chief who had the cajones necessary to take on big tobacco) was inspired enough by his failure to NOT eat chocolate chip cookies on impulse enough to write a book about it: "The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite".  In his book, Dr. Kessler examines the reasons for our own impulse eating.

    According to the NYT review of the book, Dr. Kessler believes: 

    "by combining fats, sugar and salt in innumerable ways, food makers have essentially tapped into the brain’s reward system, creating a feedback loop that stimulates our desire to eat and leaves us wanting more and more even when we’re full."


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  • Ten Skills to Master by the End of the World 12/21/12

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    December 21, 2012 is less than two and a half years from now. Some say that this could be the end of the world due to certain prophecies fortold by the Mayans, the i Ching, and an Oracle at Delphi. Regardless of whether you buy in to the conspiracy theories or end of days armageddon doomsday theories, more than likely it will be impossible for the media to quell a quasi-panic similar to that of the Y2K scare. Unfortunately, if the end of the world doesn't happen, we may have to deal with panic on the streets, rioting, looting, raping, pillaging and god only knows what other kind of atrocities freaked out suburbanites may commit.


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  • JibJab welcomes Obama

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    Heheheh. Heh. As only JibJab can do it:

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  • 16 Years Ago Today, Lorena Bobbitt Went Down in History

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    BobbittBobbittHas it already been 16 years since Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s penis?  On June 23, 1993 John Wayne Bobbitt had come home to his apartment in Manassas, Virginia after a night out partying and drinking.  When he came home it was said that he had raped his wife, Lorena Bobbitt.  After he allegedly raped her (which he was tried and acquitted for spousal rape in 1994), she went to the kitchen to get some water and saw a knife. 

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  • On This Day in History – June 22, 1940, the First Dairy Queen Opens Up

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    DQDQOn this day in history, the very first Dairy Queen store opened in Joliet, Illinois.  Dairy Queen was first introduced to customers (before they were called Dairy Queen) back in 1938 where a father and son (John & Alex McCullough) who owned a mix plant business in Green River, Illinois had been experimenting with a soft serve dairy product.  In August of 1938, they had a $.10 sample sale of this new soft serve product at their friend, Sherb Noble’s walk in ice cream shop.  Within two hours, Noble dished out over 1,600 servings of this new ice cream treat.  Since this new ice cream was such a hit, John and Alex decided to name it the “dairy queen”.

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  • Chris Brown Pleads Guilty in Rihanna Case

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    BrownBrownAfter four months of speculation and criticism, Chris Brown finally pleaded guilty in the assault case against singer and ex-girlfriend, Rihanna.  Chris Brown allegedly beat up Rihanna after a pre-Grammy’s party on February 8th, 2009 over a text message that Brown had received. 

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  • Laura Bush' book on Masturbation- Too Good to Be True?

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    Laura BushLaura BushYears ago, I was teased by a satirical article depicting a Tom Cruise sex toy (be careful- NSFW), but today's torment is even worse because it involves the Bushes. The GlossyNews.com has a fantastic review of Laura Bush's new book, "Pleasures of Masturbation".  (It's a credit to the writer that he didn't make any puns about her last name...) "Pleasures of Masturbation" is  the perfect fake title for a fake book for the wife of an ex-president who many considered to be a fake-president during his first term.

    (Why oh why must reality get in my way of the enjoyment of this story and why wasn't I smart enough to think of it myself?)


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  • Bill Murray = Comedy Genius!

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    Bill Murray in StripesBill Murray in StripesI was watching the AMC channel the other day and they were running a Bill Murray marathon!  I never realized how clever Bill Murray was until I recently watched Ghost Buster’s again (I had not watched it since I was like 10 years old), although I have always loved him in Groundhog’s Day.  While the marathon was going on, right before they would put the movie back on, there were little tid bits of information from other actors, directors and producers that had worked with Bill Murray.  Every single person who had talked about Bill Murray said he was a genius.  What he did with the minimal amount of direction the directors gave, or the way he popped into his character or the way he interacted with others on screen was just amazing.&nbs

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  • White-Only Proms

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    Separate PromsSeparate PromsMontgomery, Alabama is in the news for rampant segregation, this time school condoned. Montgomery County High School had two proms: one for whites and one for blacks. WTF is this about?

     According to the Telegraph, the students themselves seemed divided about the prom. One particularly ass-backwards white student said that  a Prom for everybody basically wouldn't work because of "cultural reasons", namely that the students couldn't agree on music or themes. Excuse me, but I went to high school, too and students are not always going to agree on the musical selections and usually that has absolutely nothing to do with race. HELLO?

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  • Italian PM Sex Scandal

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    Berlusconi and his WifeBerlusconi and his WifeWhy is it that powerful men always seem to screw the wrong woman at the wrong time? (and by this, I do not mean to imply that there is a right woman at a right time.) The latest sex scandal to hit Europe is centered in Italy, and has embroiled Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi.

    Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi looks much younger than his 72 years. This is probably a good thing if the rumors are true that he has not only been cavorting with beautiful young women, but paying them to attend "private parties" as well. Unfortunately for Mr. Berlusconi, he may be in jeopardy of losing his job.

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  • A Bear in the Hand?

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    viagra bearviagra bear

    When you've been using the Internet on a daily basis for twenty years, you tend to be jaded. When you've had a couple of email accounts that long, and you work in IT with user and mail servers, you've pretty much seen it all, from Nigerian spammers, to Russian girl friends, to over the 'net purchases of erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra. I reckon I receive about 800 to 1,000 pieces of spam a day. I don't see much of it—but sometimes, a piece of spam manages to squeak by my various pre-sets and filters, and I have to check it by hand.

    This one is so weird I can't figure it out either. Sure, it's Viagra spam, but why the bear? Viagra for bears?

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  • 5 Fun Things to do on Father’s Day

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    LoveLoveEver wonder where Father’s Day came from?  It was founded by aFather's DayFather's Day woman named Sonora Smart Dodd who had created the holiday in remembrance of her father, a widow and Civil War Veteran.  It was not until 1910 that the holiday was locally recognized, and then in 1924, President Calvin Coolidge made it a national event.  Then in 1966, President Johnson signed a proclamation making Father’s Day the third Sunday in June, and finally in 1972, President Nixon made it into law.  Thanks to a loving daughter, fathers everywhere are now recognized on this special day in June.

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  • Did Reddit Just Ask Me to Lie?

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    Reddit: I'm SURE they really meant descriptiveReddit: I'm SURE they really meant descriptive

  • David Letterman + Willow Palin = Bad Joke

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    Letterman joke gone badLetterman joke gone bad

    David Letterman had made a joke about Sarah Palin and her daughter (who he thought was Bristol) at the Yankees game, but it happened to be her 14 year old daughter Willow instead.  His joke, “One awkward moment with Sarah Palin at the Yankees game, during the 7th inning her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”  He was referring to Bristol, the 17 year old daughter who is now a mother, not realizing she was at the game with her 14 year old daughter Willow.

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  • Arizona Election Tie-Breaker: Drawing Cards

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    The Winning HandThe Winning HandNot every disputed election ends with in revolutions in the streets. Take the case of Cave Creek, AZ (wonder how they picked that name), who recently had a tie-breaker in their election for the top CIty Council seat.

    The Arizona state legislature mandates that any election ties are to be determined in a game of chance. Perhaps not feeling lucky enough to toss a coin, roll dice or draw straws, the incumbent Thomas McGuire and Adam Trenk decided to go a more traditional route,  (no they did not have a duel) and instead decided the election based on the highest card.

    Imagine the made-for-tv movie with the accompanying sappy music and/or drumroll to set the scene.

    The incumbent drew first. Again, we are talking cards, not guns here. It was a six of hearts.


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  • Camel Toes are the New Black?!

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    So apparently camel toes are the new craze, no?!  Well, all of your favorite celebrities seem to be wearing them…  I honestly feel bad for these celebrities, wondering if they really know what they are showing off.  

    Megan FoxMegan FoxThe newest camel toe offender is Megan Fox, fresh off the set of Transformers II.

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  • Mona Lisa, Au Naturale?

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    Mona Lisa, you sly little minx, you. We always knew there was a good story behind that saucy smirk. Now we know: you posed nudie for Leonardo da Vinci!

    Don’t bother to deny it. We know this finding, pulled from inside a wall where it was hidden for who knows how long like a dog-eared copy of Letters to Penthouse, is probably not your twin, your daughter, your mama or your great-aunt Kelly. It’s you!

    Documents suggest that it’s probably the work of Leo himself, though perhaps on another yet-to-be-found painting (just how many did you pose for?). And we know he was totally into your pretty face, likely painting it in several different ways. But you in the buff, oh famous lady, is quite a site to see.

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  • Sweden and Pirates

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    PiratePirateI love Sweden. The men are hot. The women are hot. The latest news out of Sweden has made me even more effusive about the country. Without having been there, I have just developed a DEEP and possibly undying love for all things Swedish. (Well, maybe not all)

    Socialism and beautiful blonde men and women are certainly a draw to Sweden, but they do not even begin to compare to the fact that Sweden has elected a Pirate to the EU. AAAAARRRR! Sweden and Pirates- Are there any two words in the English language that sound better together? I think not.

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  • S & M Murder Trial Set in Switzerland

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    Miss BroussardMiss BroussardThe lover of one of France's top bankers now has to defend herself in court for allegedly shooting Edouard Stern not once, twice, or three times, but four fricking times in the head during sadomasochistic sex. 

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  • The Mystery of David Carradine's Death

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    David CarradineDavid CarradineAs soon as David Carradine's hanging death in Bangkok was reported in the media, the rumors started flying. Was it a true suicide or an accidental death through asphyxiation ala Michael Hutchence of INXS fame?

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  • Twitter v. Facebook

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    Twitter v. FacebookTwitter v. FacebookIf the media is to be trusted, and I'm beginning to suspect it is not, Twitter and its founders are the next second coming of Christ. I read about Twitter every day: it is growing five times faster than,  Facebook, Oprah is now tweeting, and Steve Colbert has officially coined the term "twatter".

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