The headline in People Magazine scared me: Heather Locklear was involved in a hit and run. Images ran through my head of a plastered Heather repeatedly running over either a hapless senior citizen or a young child caught in her path in a fit of anger. Although there was technically a hit and run, the headline was a bit of a scam.

She didn’t hit anyone. Heather Locklear, who has had a long and semi-prosperous acting career  due to her hotness factor more than her acting ability, was busted for hitting a stop sign. Say what?

I’m not disappointed by any means that no one was injured or hurt by the now-reckless star, but let’s be realistic- should People magazine really have used that headline? Is hitting a stop sign really a hit and run? Seriously, who is the victim in this situation? Is the stop sign going to take Heather to court? I obviously wasn’t the only one fooled by this headline as it was the number 5 story on People magazine.

I have yet to see pictures of the “crime scene” so there’s always the possibility that the stop sign is more injured than the article claims or that the damage is worse than I could  imagine. I do understand that the city government will probably need to replace the stop sign and it could cause accidents in the long run, but hitting a stop sign and driving away is not quite along the same lines as a regular hit and run where an actual person is the victim.

For those thirsty for more details, Heather Locklear was driving a 2005 BMW at the time of the accident, which was traced by to her by the most excellent sleuths in the Ventura County Sheriff’s Department. Kudos to the officers for their diligence in this matter and jeers to People Magazine who got me all excited for a train wreck story and left me wanting more.

And, as far as Ms. Locklear is concerned, I hope that this little “incident” teaches you that you are not above the law despite your celebrity, your blonde locks, and the fact you still have the body of a 16-year-old despite the fact that you have to be pushing 50. The American public needs some celebrity blood now and again to keep us amused in these trying times.