Years ago, I was teased by a satirical article depicting a Tom Cruise sex toy (be careful- NSFW), but today's torment is even worse because it involves the Bushes. The GlossyNews.com has a fantastic review of Laura Bush's new book, "Pleasures of Masturbation".  (It's a credit to the writer that he didn't make any puns about her last name...) "Pleasures of Masturbation" is  the perfect fake title for a fake book for the wife of an ex-president who many considered to be a fake-president during his first term.

(Why oh why must reality get in my way of the enjoyment of this story and why wasn't I smart enough to think of it myself?)

The article about the fake book has two great fake quotes from the First Lady herself. About her husband (you know him, the cocky guy): When you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, one's sexual performance may suffer......

About her "approach" to the new topic of masturbation:  While I absolutely adore children and children's literature, I also adore masturbation........

I'm delighted to hear she enjoys the beauty of self-pleasure. And, if George's sexual performance indeed suffered that could be the reason for his insistence on abstinence-only education. And it is also nice to imagine that Laura is "branching out" and getting herself some new hobbies now that she is no longer First Lady. With all of the current sex scandals  involving men, it's nice to have a Fake Book by a real lady talking about the real issues women face. Imagine if Laura (albeit the more Fake open-minded Laura that I like to imagine) had palled around with Bristol....what a mentor she could have been. Alas, twas not to be.