New law would prohibit the passing of gas

The African country of Malawi is expected to introduce a bill that would prohibit the passing gas in public. See the video.

Malawi has become the butt of giggles Internet wide,

Anyone's acutely distressing, personal, most embarrassing, moment of social misfortune could become a criminal misdemeanor.

Stop right there.

How would such a regulation be enforced? How would it affect law enforcement officers? Obviously, would this not lead to nosey policemen? Men and women chosen not for their intelligence, judgment, and ability to chase down a felon, but for the size, strength, durability, and the sharpness of their noses? Men and women whose noses are trained to withstand the strongest and the most pungent, and the most powerful bursts of human wind? Men and women capable of always nosing around, walking a beat on the sniff for illegal scents?

Would the law responded to citizen complains? Would violations have to be witnessed by a credible and nose tested witness or witnesses, with noses that can detect the originators of offending obnoxious odors? Or would the long nose of law have to be a nose-witness to the event, following a citizen's complaint?

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Navy Flies Over Closed Roof...

The economy is not doing so well, and many financial experts tell the nation that our country is almost broke, which makes what I just read hard to take.  One would think that our country would be watching every penny in these times, right?  Well, obviously not.  We all, well, nearly everyone, watched the Super Bowl.  A game that was played in Jerry Jones' new billion plus dollar stadium in Dallas, Texas.  It has a retractable roof, and because of the cold conditions, it was closed for this year's game.

This, however, didn't detour our Navy from still doing their flyover with four F-18 fighter jets, so all the fans could watch it on the giant televisions inside the stadium, ultimately getting the same view as all the viewers sitting in their homes.  Yahoo News reports that, "A Dallas TV reporter estimated that the flyover cost the Navy a total of $450,000. His total includes gas, operational costs and air time for the four F-18s, which traveled from Virginia to Texas for the event. The Navy told CNBC that its official records only tallies the amount spent on gas, which came out to $109,000 for the Super Bowl flights."

What a waste of hard earned tax-payer money?  The true cost of it was probably somewhere between the two numbers, but still in an incredibly huge amount of money.  Could you imagine what that check could do for some poor schools throughout the nation?  It's just sad.

The most hilarious part, is the Navy's response, again through Yahoo News, "These missions are included in the annual operating budget of all branches of the military and they are used as training," Mike Maus, deputy public affairs officer for the Naval Air Force's Atlantic division told CNBC. "There was no additional money provided to us, Congress did not cut us a special check to do this flyover. This is considered a training mission whether they were to fly over the Super Bowl or not."

Flying from Virginia to Texas to do a flyover when the roof is retracted is a training mission, Mr. Mike Maus?  Is this in preparation to do flyovers at soccer games in Afghanistan?  For if it's not, then maybe we should reconsider what we put training money towards. 

On Lindsay Lohan's Troubles

Lindsay Lohan is innocent until proven guilty. She has plead not guilty to a felony theft charge. She is rich, white and famous, and she deserves justice, and as much as a poor minority kid, who found with a stolen necklace in her presence, would receive. What is that? About what? Ten years in jail?

Yes, I'm kidding.

Ms. Lohan is not a poor kid. We can give examples of the rich getting rich people's justice. I am not one who says Ms. Lohan should become the target of those who want to make examples of rich people. We are individuals. We represent ourselves, when we stand before the bar of justice, and not our class. We live in a country where war criminals, if they are well-connected, can start an illegal war and murder hundreds of thousands of people, engage in torture, bring suffering to millions, and not be subjected to the slightest legal reprimand. And so? The accused thief of a $2,500 necklace? Her alleged misdeeds? No sweat?

Ms. Lohan lives in America, where people who have money can hire lawyers, who can make things like felonies disappear, charges, entire cases, all of the evidence. Folks with money can kill someone, unless one kills the wrong person, and walk, and without a slap on the wrist. We have the best justice for the rich that money can buy. And so?

Who knows how this case may spin out? The famous get looked look at closer than the rich and not so famous. And instead of in and out the back door justice, the famous sometimes get trap door justice, when the public literally want to see the turnip bleed blood.

Anyway, I like the young lady's acting, and I wish her luck.

Item from the Associated Press -- "Lindsay Lohan is out on bail after pleading not guilty to felony grand theft of a 25-hundred dollar necklace - in her most serious brush yet with the law." See the video.

Girl on the Street’s Reaction to Lindsay Lohan’s Theft of a $2,500.00 Necklace


 

 Me: What do you think about Lindsay Lohan stealing that necklace?

There is something totally wrong with that whole Disney thing. They asked me to be a Disney actress when I was like in high school and I said N-O because I’m like so against what the Disney franchise stands for.

(I had to shut my mouth about the fact that she didn't answer my question directly.)

Me: But what do you think about Lindsay Lohan and the necklace?

It’s ugly. U-G-L-Y. I mean, like totally, Lindsay, puulease, if you’re going to steal a necklace, have your stylist choose it for you. Does Lindsay still have a stylist or is she so drugged out that no one will work for her any more?

Me: Uh, I really don’t know. Do you want me to Google it? (I bluffed her a little bit here as I know for a fact that Lindsay Lohan has personal stylists; I just didn’t want to give her all my best information about the case. You have to save something for press time, afterall.)

That’s ok. It’s just the whole issue of how she’s like supposed to be such a role model and shit and all she does is go in and out of re-hab and then she might get like ten years in jail. Do you think she’ll ever go to jail with Paris Hilton?

Me: That’d be pretty unlikely. I don’t put the odds of those two going to jail together all that high.

Oh, I just thought you know since they both like to go to jail and stuff that it might happen.

Me: I think I have to go now. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.

Conclusion: 

I shook her hand—she had cold, clammy fish hands—and gave her my card with a smile. I did not ask for her contact information, as I probably won’t be following up with this particular interviewee. And thus concluded my second interview in the series: Girl on the Street, which I’m not sure if I’m going to continue because it’s so difficult to find a high level of quality interviews on the street. (As Jay Leno well knows, the average Americans on the street make for good comedy, but nothing else.)

I was also pretty disappointed that the girl didn’t know anything about Lindsay’s defense*for the alleged crime of the necklace theft because it’s pretty central to the whole case. Obviously, the girl is not of the OJ generation.

*Lindsay is actually claiming that the necklace was loaned to her by a stylist. We’ll have to wait and see how that little defense plays in court.

Image Credit: flickr user le cardinal de la ville

Marketing Predictions for 2011

With the impending predicted doom of 2012 and dates with multiple ones in them, numerologists and other kooky-types are having a field day determining the auspiciousness of certain dates. Since I’m generally skeptical of big, earth-shaking predictions and the importance of numerology, I’m going to close my ears to the dire warnings posted around the net.  While a certain percentage of the population focuses on the probabilities of a Zombie Apocalypse, I predict that the rest of us will succumb to the powers of subliminal (and non-subliminal) marketing schemes concocted by brilliant advertisers.

 

Here are a couple of dates that I predict will be hey-days for certain marketers and advertisers:

 

7-11-11: In the United States, July is usually only noted for the Fourth and is associated primarily with fireworks and deviled eggs. If the marketers and advertisers at 7-11 are smart, 7/11/11 will be the day for all of America to visit their local 7-11. The large chain of convenience stores could promote the special day in advance, have prizes on the bottoms of Slurpee cups, and have in-store parties on the special day. The date would actually be easy to remember as every single radio and TV announcer would be reminding you of the date all day long. I’m telling you; if 7-11 doesn’t jump on this opportunity, they’ll be regretting it for a century.

 

11-11-11: In the United and Canada, 11-11 is Veteran’s Day, but in South Korea (where creative advertisers and marketers have already found out how to use dates to their advantage) 11-11 is Peppero Day--the day where everyone gives each other Pepero sticks. Pepero Sticks are edible sticks that taste like dry cookies dipped in chocolate and were inspired by Japanese Pocky sticks. Imagine the possibilities of marketing  something similar in the United States; I’m thinking that Pick Up Stix should be heavily marketed just before 11/11/11 since Americans aren’t really familiar with Peppero Sticks yet. (Heavy marketing of Strike-Anywhere matches did also cross my mind for 11/11/11, but I have a feeling it would be too controversial because of the whole fire-hazard issue which parental units tend to take seriously.) Maybe the band Styx could give a concert on 11/11/11.

 

What do you think? Should we as a population forget about the predicted doom and gloom by the Mayans and leave a little room for even more consumerism in our sonsumer-driven society? Or should we be so worried about the possibility of a Zombie Apocolypse that we don’t allow the corporations to influence us on certain dates?

Ice Sculptures Wow Crowds in Japan

The videos on the net of the amazing ice sculptures of the snow festival in Japan pack an extra wow to the factor of eye delight.

Yesterday, in the northern Japanese city of Sapporo in Hokkaido, the 62nd Sapporo Snow Festival began. At the annual event the city's entertainment district becomes an outdoor gallery of amazing eye catching, mind bending ice sculptures.

The Sapporo winter festival runs for seven days and attracts tourists from all over the world. The festival organizers are expecting two million visitors. According to Reuters, the festival features over 250 magnificent, giant snow and ice sculptures. The city of Sapporo celebrates one of its most abundant natural resources, snow, and puts on display the creative craftsmanship of artists.

Item from the Associated Press --"Massive ice sculptures have appeared in the center of Japan's northern city of Sapporo, in Hokkaido prefecture, as the yearly snow festival got under way on Monday." See the video.

No American Superheroes?

Hold On To The Tights? Tight?

The sad news was announced in the last days of January, in the dead of what has been a very nasty winter, that Hollywood has done another of its dastardly deeds, has dissed every American on the planet, by casting a Brit in the role of America's greatest comic hero.

British actor, Henry Cavill, who's been tapped to play Superman. Shame on Hollywood.

Would any anyone dare to cast as James Bond an actor who is anything other than British? Can one imagine the outrage that would erupt in Britain? In Britain? Not just in Britain? All of the Commonwealth countries would be up in arms at the slight given to Mother-Sister England. It is understood that only a British actor can play James Bond. James Bond labors hard for Queen and country.

Superman is for truth, justice and the American way? Ooops! Hollywood a while back dropped the part  about the American way.

And yes, Christian Charles Philip Bale is an English actor. He plays a solid Batman. But Batman is not Superman.

I was not going to comment on any of this, until some jackass of a casting director said that American actors are too soft, look too weak, aren't tough enough to play American super heroes. This gentleman suggested that American men are too much like wimps to play superheroes? He worked as the casting director for the Batman movies, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. His name is John Papsidera.

From NY Mag --"The ugly truth is that American leading men just aren't terribly manly anymore, says John Papsidera, the casting director on both The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises.

'You look at the list of American leading men, and in their twenties and thirties, they're very boylike'" he says, adding, 'Take Jesse Eisenberg: I put him in Zombieland, but he's not going to play Superman. He's much closer to what Dustin Hoffman turned into than John Wayne or Steve McQueen. It's hard to find movie stars that live up to the needs of the story. Leo [DiCaprio] is growing into it, but for a long time, he seemed young and boylike. Inception was the first time Leo seemed to have fully grown into a man. You need to find guys who carry that heroic-ness with them.'

My response to that casting director: Nonsense. My response to Hollywood inability to cast an  American as Superman? Well ... Holy Nuts!

Ed Asner's Back On TV

81 and Still Working

Ed Asner one of my favorite television actors is in the buzz on the net. He's a busy actor, at age 81, co-staring in CMT's new sitcom, "Working Class," with Melissa Peterman. Ed Asner is a great TV character actor. I enjoyed watching him in the TV classics series, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Lou Grant." He told the Associated Press that it feels awful good to be working.

Of course playing cranky characters on TV he plays the role off camera too. Quote the Associated Press, when "mention that he's lucky to work when older people can struggle for employment in any field, and he's off and running, (Ed Abner) said,. 'It sucks, doesn't it? I can understand how they don't want to see an old fart in front of the camera, but when they start ruling out directors and cinematographers and producers and writers because they're too old, there's something wrong in the world."

Ed Asner has much praised for the star of the show Melissa Peterman. He said he hasn't "worked with anybody as noble, generous and sharp (as her since he worked with)Mary Tyler Moore,"

Rooting for Green Bay

I'm rooting for The Green Bay Packers.

Super Bowl XLV, Sunday, Dallas, Texas, The Pittsburgh Steelers vs The Green Bay Packers -- Who is going to win? Well, that will be decided on the field, if the weather permits. Who am I rooting for? Green Bay. Why?

I am from DC and DC is a National Conference city.

I like the fact that Green Bay is a fans owned team. So the Green Bay folks don't have a Dan Snyder milking the fans for every dollar his greedy hands can snatch.

I liked Vince Lombardi. For a minute,  he coached in D.C.

And I like the bird, the cockatoo, who sings 'I Love the Green Bay Packers.'

Item from the Associated Press -- "An umbrella cockatoo from Antigo, Wisconsin is quite the Green Bay Packers fan. He even sings of his love for the Superbowl-bound team." See the video.

Snowing On The Super Bowl?!

It is not suppose to snow on the Super Bowl, but it is. The Super Bowl isn't just a game that takes place on a Sunday, it is a whole week, a week long party for and by the big shots of major corporations, and their clients, and their guests. Who else can afford the prices?! Well, there isn''t much partying going on in the Big D. There a lot of shoveling the "s" stuff, a lot of clueless drivers who don't know how to drive in snow, a lot of canceled flights, a lot of people losing money and not getting paid.

Well, how do you like global warming now, you big shot corporate polluters?

Item from the Associated Press -- "Another blast of winter weather slammed Dallas with up to 5 inches of snow Friday, making driving hazardous and forcing the cancellation of hundreds of flights as tens of thousands of football fans descended on the city for the Super Bowl".See the video.

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