IPad Fail Videos

Hitler reacts to the Ipad

I like the Ipad, but apparently Hitler does not. He has a past record of being on the right side of inventions (VW, anyone?), but this is a definite Fail.



Apple Ipad Fail

This appeared on MAD TV in 2005. Do you think that Steve Jobs and company are all made up of males who have somehow managed to escape the wings commercials? Or did they allow some foreign engineer with a limited English vocabulary actually name the device? Hmmmmm, very interesting indeed.



IPad on the Cheap
Apple Ipad-For those of you who are unable to afford the expensive Ipad, there is a cheaper version that does pretty much everything that the expensive version does.

 

The iPad - watch more funny videos

Australia Gets Tough on Small Boobs

The Aussies are most definitely one weird lot. I’ve always suspected as much and it was just confirmed by the recent news about the anti-porn crusanders in Australia, who seem to be even more bizarre than their right-wing American counter-parts.

A year ago (and I don’t know where I was when this news came out), the porn censors in Australia decided for some strange reason that small breasts encouraged Paedophilia, so started a campaign to ban small breasts in porn.

As a result, shots with  A-cup models and actresses are sometimes being banned, which has to seriously suck for small-breasted women in the industry. It also means that none of these A-list A-Cup celebrities could be porn stars in Australia because of their bra size.

Two of the senators who spear-headed the plan have started “rounding up magazines from corner shops and filling stations” to stop the evils of naked women with small breasts- what “hard” work it must be for the Senators to peruse the publications searching for small breasts. I’m glad it’s not my tax-dollars paying for that campaign. One almost has to wonder if the esteemed gentlemen are being secretly paid off by the Cosmetic Surgery lobbyists in hopes of increasing the number of boob jobs in Australia.

Unfortunately, that is not where this story ends. If the B-cup minimum isn’t strange and twisted enough for you, Australia has also changed the porn classification system to make it harder for anyone to see women who are ejaculating in porn. It should come as no surprise that this move has not made Australia popular with almost the ENTIRE western world.

The reasons given for the change in the female ejaculation status is that female ejaculation is similar to urine and that it is abhorrent. First of all, what is wrong with urine? From what I’ve heard, some people even drink it. And second, who the hell are these people to determine what kind of orgasm is “abhorrent”? I wonder how they feel about their own sperm, which not everybody is a huge fan of.

I find it abhorrent that the people in charge of this could be so misogynistic as to make such a stupid law in the first place. Seriously, wtf? I thought that Australia was a more advanced country in terms of their attitudes towards women, but apparently I was wrong. Let's hope the the American whackos don't try to follow suit.....

The NYT is Calling Out Actresses for Their "Bingo Wings"

Via the Stranger.

This story is all over the net and for a very good reason- the NYT is pretty much calling hot actresses across the globe (Golden Globe pun definitely intended) fat........say what?


Maybe it’s just me, but I could have sworn that some of the ladies who showed up at the Golden Globes on Sunday had put on a little weight. It’s almost criminal to name names, because the very actresses whose body-mass indexes have been the subject of endless tabloid speculation are the very ones now sporting sexier curves. You could definitely see the difference if you concentrated solely on the upper arms. Instead of a Barbie-doll circumference, there was suddenly, amazingly, a womanly roundness to their frames. More Marilyn than Twiggy, that’s for sure.

Thank you, NYT for making me feel even better about myself than I did before. Excuse me, but is there anything wrong with the way any of these women look? On a hotness scale, they are pretty much still at the top, imaginary bingo wings and all.

The media’s focus on celebrity weight gains has got to stop- not everyone wants to look like an emaciated rag doll and I think that’s a good thing. Can’t we start focusing more on the actual acting or is that only possible in the case of Meryl Streep? Are we now giving awards for the best bodies at the awards shows, too?

Also, according to the Stranger, a pic of Christina Hendrinks was accidentally “altered” somehow. The NYT is claiming that this was done unintentionally- wow, it’s amazing how Photoshop and/or uploading photos to the net can shave off the pounds so quickly. Check out this link to see the side by side comparison and let me know what you think.  The crazy thing about it is that she is ridiculously hot in either picture.

I’m thinking that I could use the NYT photoshopping services on my Christmas cards next year- seriously, it’s a much better way to “lose weight” than a belly or fanny tuck and considerably cheaper.

The support of online bloggers for the “large actresses” on this one is great and I am in full agreement that none of the women pictured here is large. That doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t get in shape; I’m just saying that perhaps we have a little more important things to focus on than the “bingo wings” of someone who is still underweight by most BMI standards.

Is Cross-Dressing Ok For School?


Do you believe that it is ok for a boy to wear a skirt to school if he is not in Scotland wearing a kilt? How about a Chris Crocker styled wig, complete with the make-up of Tammy Faye Baker on a male high school student? Should this be in bounds for the school dress code or should this be disallowed on school time?

Along the same lines, is it acceptable for a female student to wear a tuxedo to her Sr. Prom or should she conform to society’s standards and wear a dress? Is that the same type of situation?

The NYT recently ran an article checking out the answers to some of these questions on a cross-country basis. Not surprisingly, the answers varied widely from state to state.


In a Florida high school, for example, the students must dress “in keeping with their gender”. The interesting thing to me is that forty or fifty years ago, that would have meant that women could not wear pants or jeans. In other places, however, students dressing in manners “not keeping with their gender” are allowed a lot more leeway.

My age is top-secret, but I can definitely say that this wasn’t really an issue when I went to school. People stuck clearly to their gender lines in school bounds- it wasn’t as socially acceptable to cross-dress at school, nor was a person’s sexuality really an open topic in the town that I grew up in. The only time the boys wore skirts was during Homecoming skits that were pretty much exact replicas of the song-and-dance routine from the frat guys in  “Revenge of the Nerds”.

Some of the school officials who are against “dressing across gender lines” have given a few reasons for their “rules and guidelines”. A few are concerned for the safety of the students, saying that the students will get beat up after school or discriminated against by other students. I say that this is always a definite possibility, but shouldn’t it be the students choice? (And will a girl in a tuxedo at a prom really face violence? I don’t think so.)

Others say that the cross-dressing is too distracting for other classmates at the school. I would have to say that this may have to be on a case by case basis. If anyone (male or female) came to class in full drag-queen regalia, it might be a little distracting, but someone dressing outside of their gender, wearing a simple wig, or some makeup probably wouldn’t be too bad.

The Grounding of Tess: Is it Fair?


Facebook has been used by possibly nefarious parties to secretly find out the color of your underwear, to take sides in the disputed Iranian election, and is now being used by a 15-year-old to protest being grounded by her parents.

Her crime was simple: she went to a party with alcohol present and was late for her curfew by one hour. Her parents responded quickly to their daughter’s crimes with a swift and possibly harsh judgment: they grounded her for five weeks.

Since then, the girl has waged a Facebook campaign that can safely boast 1,667 members, many of which who believe or purport to believe that in this particular instance, the punishment does not fit the crime. She has also started circulating petitions around the school gaining signatures of fellow students (and teachers?) who don’t believe that being grounded for five weeks is an appropriate punishment for her situation.

Apparently, her parents originally compromised with each other on the length of the punishment and aren’t budging an inch. In response to her Facebook group, some parents have started their own opposing group. It’s official; it has now become another Facebook war.

Now, she is in the NYT. Amazing. Although she didn’t necessarily get her required outcome (ungrounded of course being the necessary goal), her social networking skills are pretty fricking great....if I had to hire someone to publicize my cause, Tess might very well make the top of the list.

Of course, not everybody agrees- I just joined her infamous Facebook group myself and the self-righteous NYT readers have weighed in with basically the kind of responses you would expect:

“Yes, you deserve to be grounded.”,

“You know what, if you don't want to get grounded for drinking at a party, then be smarter and don't get caught. End of story.”,

and some cautionary bs advice about how this kind of campaign could adversely affect college applications.

As evidence of how far this story has traveled, one dude posted:

"Hey Tess -- you even made the newpaper in Calcutta, India!! I also found the article about you in newspapers in Minneapolis, Sarasota, Florida, Honolulu, Hawaii, and on a TV station website in New Delhi, India!! Looks like people around the world hear you and support you!!!"



Weird Japanese Products

 

It seems like there was a new round of 'weird Japanese products' making its way to my inbox this past week. By inboxes I meant in email form from a good friend with a bit too much time to spare and not the product itself. But then, I must admit that the dissection keychain would be worth owning.

Photo Source: Tokyo Mango

Dogs Looking Like Owners


Everyone says this will happen but so far there has been no sign of it. So, what next? Simple. This company behind these products probably heard the plea of 'I wanna look like my dog' folks and made these bizarre products. It comes complete with gloves and face mask. Oh my, are those cat and bird-like face masks?

 

Photo Source: Anime Vice

3D Mouse Pads


Getting in touch with your animal side might be a bit one-sided. And it might be too weird for folks from other countries to understand. But I'm guessing that this particular product will speak to men from all cultures? Yea, it's mouse pads that have wrist-rest bits that are shaped like a woman's breast. Specifically, it features characters from the popular manga, One Piece.

 

Photo Source: Gizmodo

Walking Bag


Alright, I'll admit it, this one was strange. It's basically a sleeping bag that has a fork in the bottom so that it fits like a pair of pants. Wait, what? In all fairness, this product would have been uber useful on a number of life-and-death situations in movies/series. Wonder if the good heroes of Star Wars would have needed a Tauntaun carcass if they had packed with one of these leggy bags.

 

Photo Source: Tres Sugar

Wrong Role Model


That's just wrong. Apparently there's a Hello Kitty that actually pays tribute to Paris Hilton. Why would you do that? What do you want your kids to learn from such a character? It's funny how they threw in her dog as an accessory as well. Knowing what this woman is most famous for, you'd expect other items as accessories.

 

Photo Source: Incredible Things

Dissection Toys


Speaking of weird toys, someone also sent me a link to this one. I must admit these were pretty fantastic. You know how it's fun to learn about various muscles, mostly so you can keep them in mind when you sketch them out? Wouldn't it be great to have one of these around for those occasions? Well, I suppose it makes sense if you are in habit of drawing a lot of animals.

 

Photo Source: Examiner

Obama Mask


As far as bizarre is concerned, these ones make it to the top of the list. Judging from all the Obama references in Japanese culture, I'd say that the country is really taken with the US president. Funny thing is, some companies have an unusual way of catering to this fascination. Take those face masks for instance. How does it make sense for anyone wanting one of those? Of course, this is coming from someone whose preteen years consisted of seeing TV clips featuring folks wearing Yeltsin masks. That's about the only instance that I can imagine anyone wanting a face mask …. that, and Rammstein videos. Oh and did you also see the Obama figurine that made the rounds a while back? It was a Men in Black Meets Dutch from Predator sort of moment.

 

The Suggestive Saddle Machine?


Can I just say this now … I hope never to see anyone try this in a public place. So far I have been lucky, unlike this poor bloke. Yea, if I were him in that situation, I would be traumatized too.

The topic in question is a saddle-like exercise gear. You know, you get this machine which has a saddle that moves (shakes? Gyrates? Grinds?) under you. As if that was not bad enough, turns out, you can set it to different speeds. Ooooh, this is just as bad as that jerky-hand-motion dumbell!

Well, I found the Japanese ad for this weird product. Actually, it might be the Japanese version of it as opposed to it being the one made by the same company. It doesn't really matter as they are both really really bad. I mean, doesn't everyone 'exercising' on this look like it should be a scene from Coyote Ugly (well, whatever was originally on the audition tape anyway)?

And if you think that short-wearing guy and skinny demo woman were bad, wait until you get past 1:16. Sure, the lady in the magenta sweater looks perfectly innocent and then she pulls her bedroom face on everyone. Was she trying to look surprised? Or did something else just happen there? And tell me, why is the guy in the bit after Ecstatic Magenta Woman watching a video about horses? I am so glad folks will be trying this out in the privacy of their own homes. I hope the curtains are drawn for this one.

The Pitt Bull With Lipstick Gets a New Job!

The Republicans seem to be taking over the airwaves at a rapid-fire pace. First, George Bush’s daughter got a job at NBC as some kind of education commenter. Nice to have connections, isn’t it?

It gets worse.

Now, Sarah Palin, who refuses to stay either out of the news or to remain quiet despite the fact that she has absolutely nothing of value to stay and has realistically killed her political career just as the turkey was killed behind her last year, has been offered a job at everybody’s favorite news station........Fox, News, with her very own TV show, no less.

How can someone who gets her news from magazines with no titles, is probably the most partisan person of almost any politician, and says “You betcha...” as if pretending she hails from Texas and not Alaska, even allowed to speak at all?

In case you think I am exaggerating her lack of intelligence (or at least her lack of verbal swiftness), let’s review a couple of her less than impressive comments.

"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border."

"They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan."

I am quite aware of the fact that we have first amendment rights and that all people should be allowed to speak, but to hear way, right “commentators” spew so-called news like it is vomit makes me sick. Fox News has become a veritable “barforama” of partisan diatribes against all that is good in this country.

If you view Sarah Palin from a more insidious perspective, you might realize her ability to incite riots with her idiocy. She has not stopped with her “Death Panel” talk despite the total and complete lack of any evidence to support her claims. Of course, a lack of facts wouldn’t really stop a Pittbull with lip-stick, would it?

Maybe the worst part about it is that Rupert Murdoch has expanded his Fox empire across the globe and you can now watch Fox news in multiple nations, further damaging the reputation of the rest of us. Now, he is handing her a soap box, so that even though we did not elect her to any office, she will be in some way representing our country.

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