The Super Glue Criminal

I recently had the worst hair cut of my entire life. No joke. But it might be nothing compared to the weird dude in Oregon who has been randomly  putting super glue in women's hair.

Jared Weston Waler, who hails from Texas, has recently been charged with “interfering with public transit” in Oregon.


 

 

 

Anti-Smoking Groups Complaining about Avatar

We are clearly getting too uptight about a few things. And, by “we”, I don’t necessarily mean “we” as in “you” or “I”.

I just read an article in the NYT which quoted some idiot from some anti-tobacco association who was upset about Sigourney Weaver (who played a research scientist and is somehow always associated with any film involving aliens)  smoking a cigarette in a scene in the movie “Avatar.”

In case you are wondering what he said, it is definitely worse than you could ever guess. Here’s a hint: it involves an ingredient for a nuclear weapon.

This is like someone just put a bunch of plutonium in the water supply.


Yes, exactly. Someone in a movie smoking a cigarette is exactly like someone putting plutonium in the water. Why didn’t I think of that before? There were a few children in the theater when I saw it- perhaps their parents should have kept them at home lest they actually were faced with the cold hard reality that some people in this country still smoke and might still smoke in the future. And, in case you are unsure, I am totally being facetious in this paragraph.

Although  I can recognize that no, we don’t necessarily want to promote smoking to the new generation, the reality is that sometimes people smoke. Are we supposed to make every movie and every scene in a movie into a moral judgment?  Where can we draw the line and how can we stop organizations from pissing and moaning so much about nothing? (Focus on the Family for example)

James Cameron and company already had to cut out a supposedly super-hot alien sex scenes from the movie (which I believe will be later available on DVD) in order to keep a PG-13 rating  so the kiddies could come and now they are getting criticized for showing a person who (OMG) smokes? Give me a fricking break. There was so much more to that movie to notice and idiots are concentrating on a cigarette?

Thank God James Cameron, who is now probably now the most powerful person in the entertainment industry, is not bowing down to this pressure. In the article, he stated that Sigourney Weaver’s character was not intended to be a role model and that while he doesn’t support smoking, neither does Avatar.

Craig Lynch, the Facebook Tormentor

Via the Stranger.

Have you seen Craig ‘Lazie’ Lynch in person recently?

No? I haven’t either and neither have the police who have been searching for him for three months ever since he escaped from jail in Britain. They have, however, have had the glorious experience of seeing  him all over Facebook taunting them with profile pictures like this and nice commentary about how much he is enjoying his new-found freedom.

If this story is correct, Craig Lynch has amassed roughly 12,000 Facebook fans which signifies kind of a cult following. He was convicted earlier of committing armed robbery and escaped while in the middle of serving his seven year sentence. I don’t know if he is still committing crimes, but that would definitely make this type of cat and mouse game even more exciting. I can already imagine the movie with Samuel L. Jackson as the cop most offended by the Facebook taunts. Of course, the crimes might have to be greater for the movie to  really succeed.

Medieval Tech Support

This skit was originally created for the Norwegian Broadcasting company (NRK) in 2001. It was performed on the show Øystein og jeg, starring Øystein Backe (geek) and Rune Gokstad (despondent monastic user), and written by Knut Nærum.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Holiday

The Flying Spaghetti Monster was invented in 2005 by Bobby Henderson, as a protest of the Kansas Board of Education's insistence that intelligent design be taught alongside evolution in Kansas schools.  The tricky thing about the Flying Spaghetti Monster is that you cannot prove that he does not exist.  If it were conclusively proven that the Flying Spaghetti Monster (or FSM) did not exist, then let's face it, life would be a lot simpler.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster spawned a religion called Pastafarianism, the tenets of which were published in Henderson's book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.  Pirates are considered sacred beings in Pastafarianism, and all evidence of evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster after a particularly severe drinking binge.  Also, there is a beer volcano in Heaven.

Although every Friday is a holy day under Pastafarianism, the month of December is particularly holy.  Rather than celebrating a single holiday like Christmas or Hanukah, Pastafarians  celebrate a vague month long period known simply as "Holiday."  It is analogous to Christmas, but (obviously) without all the Christ.

Pastafarians have been cheered in recent years by the increasing usage of the word "Holidays" to replace more loaded words like "Christmas."  This is seen as due to the growing influence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose carb-y tentacles clearly reach all the way to Starbucks (which this year released some of its Christmas blend under the name "Holiday blend) and Walmart (which wishes shoppers a "Happy Holiday Season").

Crafts are a primary method of devotion to Flying Spaghetti Monster, and this is reflected in the official Pastafarian tenets.  Flying Spaghetti Monster crafts are particularly popular during Holiday, and include many knit, felted, and beaded miniature Flying Spaghetti Monster Holiday tree ornaments.  

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is typically described as being a plate of tangled spaghetti, intertwined with meatballs.  It bears some visual resemblance to Cthulhu, although it is difficult to know if this resemblance is intentional.  This becomes even more problematic with regards to crafts, considering the surprising volume of Cthulhu-related crafts, and the fact that many crafters who create a Cthulhu are often responsible for creating Flying Spaghetti Monsters.

Most aspects of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, as well as of Pastafarianism, were created as a direct satire of religious beliefs and the "Intelligent Design" movement.  The Flying Spaghetti Monster is often held up as being every bit as believable as God, and no less disprovable.  Thus, Pastafarianism contains many deliberate parallels to contemporary American Christian religion.  This includes a branch of climate belief which is modeled on the belief of some Christians that global warming is being caused by a lack of faith among Earthlings.  According to Pastafarianism, there is a direct correlation between the number of pirates (a number which has steadily dropped since the 1800s) and the volume of greenhouse gases (which have steadily increased since the 1800s).

Flying Spaghetti Monster itself apparently has no opinion on these matters, choosing instead to remain remote in its sky home.

Prosepra Massage Pen

From Walmart:

A stylish ball pen, with massage function in its rubber capped end.

Operated by battery. The motion of this massage pen relieves fatigue, stress, headache, and motion sickness. Believe it or not, massaging on a spot above stomach area helps digestion. It improves appetite if you have this good problem, and relieves anxiety. Long term use of this product helps to improve insomnia symptoms, it can relieves wrist pain and shoulder pain, and helps to improve eyesight and complexion. An acupuncture chart is provided with the product. But of course, you can use it as a regular ball pen.

 

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