Bill Murray = Comedy Genius!

I was watching the AMC channel the other day and they were running a Bill Murray marathon!  I never realized how clever Bill Murray was until I recently watched Ghost Buster’s again (I had not watched it since I was like 10 years old), although I have always loved him in Groundhog’s Day.  While the marathon was going on, right before they would put the movie back on, there were little tid bits of information from other actors, directors and producers that had worked with Bill Murray.  Every single person who had talked about Bill Murray said he was a genius.  What he did with the minimal amount of direction the directors gave, or the way he popped into his character or the way he interacted with others on screen was just amazing.  One director actually said he was pushing borderline crazy. You know you have made it when they run movie marathons just on movies you were in.

A few movies that I saw that they were playing on this Bill Murray movie marathon were Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters II, Caddy Shack, and Stripes.  A few that I would have loved to watch were Groundhogs Day, Scrooged, What About Bob, and Meatballs (just to name a few).  I watched pieces of Ghostbusters II and laughed my ass off; I had not seen that movie since I was maybe 12.  Watching Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II when I was little made me really scared of those films, but watching them now as an adult, they are more of the comedy genre than horror.  My favorite quotes from Ghostbusters from Bill Murray: “We’ve been going about this all wrong, this Mr. Stay Puft’s okay, he’s a sailor, he’s in New York, we get this guy laid we won’t have any problems.” And when Stanz says, “Everything was fine, until dickless here cut off the power grid?” Mayor “Is that true?”, Venkman (Murray) “Yes, your Honor, this man has no dick.”  HILARIOUS!   Bill Murray is genius!

I love that Bill Murray adds a touch of craziness to every film and I think that is why he is so adored by the public. If people are not seeing his comedy genius, I would assume it is because they have not seen his movies in the last few years.  My favorite thing about Bill Murray is that he says everything with a straight face.  Looking at him you would not think he is a comedian, but I think he is one of the funniest guys out there, he totally beats out Jim Carey any day!  If you do not agree watch a few Bill Murray movies and really listen to what he says.

My all time favorite movie of Bill Murray’s is Groundhogs Day.  It is so cleverly written, great plot idea and it is Bill Murray straight for almost two hours and yet I never get bored with it, he is so damn amusing.  A few of my favorite quotes from Groundhogs Day, “Come on, all the long distance lines are down?  What about satellite?  Is it snowing in space?  Don’t you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities?  I’m both!  I’m a celebrity in an emergency.” And “I was in the Virgin Islands once.  Met a girl.  We ate lobster and drank pina-coladas.  At sunset we made love like Sea Otters.  That was a pretty good day.  Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over?”

I think the next Academy Award for Lifetime Achievement should go to Bill Murray.  He deserves it, he is a comedy genius!

White-Only Proms

Montgomery, Alabama is in the news for rampant segregation, this time school condoned. Montgomery County High School had two proms: one for whites and one for blacks. WTF is this about?

 According to the Telegraph, the students themselves seemed divided about the prom. One particularly ass-backwards white student said that  a Prom for everybody basically wouldn't work because of "cultural reasons", namely that the students couldn't agree on music or themes. Excuse me, but I went to high school, too and students are not always going to agree on the musical selections and usually that has absolutely nothing to do with race. HELLO?

The Montgomery County High School seems to be stuck in some kind of strange 60's time warp as well. I kept expecting Marty McFly from "Back to Future" to be quoted in the article to find out it was an Onion-style satire, but this was unfortunately for real.  Apparently, the civil rights movement has yet to make it to Alabama, nor has the news that the United States now has a black president. What message is this possibly sending to the graduates at the school? It is ok to go to school together because we are forced to allow you by law, but God forbid you should attend Prom together because there might happen to be the unpardonable sin of interracial dancing?

Most of the students quoted in the article depicted the town as racist from older generations, but said that many, many white and black students were friends. One girl talked about the nasty stares she received if she walked in the street with her black boyfriend. The year is 2009. There is a black President of the United States. Spike Lee's ground-breaking movie about interraacial relationships ,"Jungle Fever", was made in 1991- 18 years ago.

Not only was the prom segregated by race, the "White Prom" also highlighted a poverty and class divide- the tickets were $200 a head as a majority of the black students didn't have the funds necessary to pay their way into the "White Prom".

Unfortunately, the white-prom situation does not seem to be isolated to this particular school. Just last year, Morgan Freeman paid for a "mixed prom" in Mississippi. The prom is now the topic of a documentary. For the CNN report about the prom, look here. For more student perspectives on a white-only prom elsewhere check here.

Italian PM Sex Scandal

Why is it that powerful men always seem to screw the wrong woman at the wrong time? (and by this, I do not mean to imply that there is a right woman at a right time.) The latest sex scandal to hit Europe is centered in Italy, and has embroiled Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi.

Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi looks much younger than his 72 years. This is probably a good thing if the rumors are true that he has not only been cavorting with beautiful young women, but paying them to attend "private parties" as well. Unfortunately for Mr. Berlusconi, he may be in jeopardy of losing his job.

The scandal first hit the airwaves when his wife announced she was filing for divorce and explained her reasons for doing so. Since then, Berlusconi has been caught in a virtual sh*t storm of accusations.

Allegations of private parties booked through escort services have surfaced through some of the girls themselves. One of the women involved in the scandal claimed that her hostess co-worker spent the night with Berlusconi while they were both paid hostesses at one of the parties. Miss Montereale explained that she was not "an escort", but that her nickname as hostess was "long thighs". Her responsiblity at the parties was akin to that of a secretary. Only, instead of organizing files, she organized the other hostesses to ensure that all the "guests" were attended to.

Not surprisingly, Berlusconi has denied the accusations, calling it a "smear campaign" from opposing political parties. The story has been in limelight on the world stage largely because Italy is scheduled to host the G-8 summit in July.

The newspapers are divided over the scandal, but Berlusconi still has a lot of public support. In what appears to me to be a sign of the importance of Catholicism in Italy, a leftist newspaper has quoted an angry priest about the public outcry he has received over the matter.

According to Reuters, a prominent Italian businessman has suggested Berlusconi get over the scandal by  re-marrying, perhaps someone along the lines of model Carla Bruni.

Earlier this year, Berlusconi made headlines after the earthquake in Italy when he told a woman doctor that she could resuscitate him any time. Apparently, the woman was not offended and considered the comments as gallant. I think in this country perhaps only Bill Clinton could get away scot-free after a remark like that.

A Bear in the Hand?

When you've been using the Internet on a daily basis for twenty years, you tend to be jaded. When you've had a couple of email accounts that long, and you work in IT with user and mail servers, you've pretty much seen it all, from Nigerian spammers, to Russian girl friends, to over the 'net purchases of erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra. I reckon I receive about 800 to 1,000 pieces of spam a day. I don't see much of it—but sometimes, a piece of spam manages to squeak by my various pre-sets and filters, and I have to check it by hand.

This one is so weird I can't figure it out either. Sure, it's Viagra spam, but why the bear? Viagra for bears?

5 Fun Things to do on Father’s Day

Ever wonder where Father’s Day came from?  It was founded by a
woman named Sonora Smart Dodd who had created the holiday in remembrance of her father, a widow and Civil War Veteran.  It was not until 1910 that the holiday was locally recognized, and then in 1924, President Calvin Coolidge made it a national event.  Then in 1966, President Johnson signed a proclamation making Father’s Day the third Sunday in June, and finally in 1972, President Nixon made it into law.  Thanks to a loving daughter, fathers everywhere are now recognized on this special day in June.

If you are not sure what to do with your dad this Father’s Day, here are a few things I suggest:

1.       What is a better way to celebrate your Father than taking him out to his favorite meal or restaurant.  Does he love steak?  Outback Steak House (http://www.outbacksteakhouse.com/) is honoring Father’s Day by giving away a $10 gift certificate to anyone who eats there on Sunday to use at their next visit.  I do not know about your dad, but my dad loves his steak and potatoes.

2.       How about a movie?  There are several great guy movies out right now in theaters.  How about a comedy?  The Hangover, starring Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms, is about a group of guy friends (one which is getting married) going to Vegas for his bachelor party.  While in Vegas, things get a little crazy and the guys wake up not remembering a thing from the previous night, yet their friend and groom is missing… While searching for their friend they find out clues as to what happened the previous night.  It is so crazy it is funny.  Another great comedy that just came out – Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera,  is about a couple of lazy hunter-gatherers who are banished from their primitive village, they set off on an epic journey through the ancient world.   This is a sit back and watch no-brainer, fun comedy film that is so silly it will keep you laughing the whole time.  If your dad is more of the action/adventure type, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, starring Denzel Washington and John Travolta, may be your film.  This is a story of a New York subway dispatcher, Walter (Washington) who becomes the middle man (not by choice) of a hijacked subway train with criminal mastermind Ryder (Travolta).  Ryder gives Walter an hour to produce and deliver a large ransom before he starts to kill of innocent subway riders.   Check out http://www.hollywood.com/ for local listings.  If your dad is a stay at home movie watcher, give the gift of Netflix – he can watch movies in the comfort of his own home or computer.  http://www.netflix.com/

3.       Does he love sports?  You can take him to the Golf range to hit some balls and take away some of that stress, or to a Baseball game.  Major League Baseball is fun to watch and going to an actual game is a lot more fun than watching it on television, by just the atmosphere alone.

4.       Does he love concerts?  Check to see if his favorite band is coming to town: http://www.ticketmaster.com/

 

 

 

 

5.       Want something cheap and easy?  Why not have a day at the park with a BBQ.  Bring your frisbee, football, baseball glove and ball, towels, swimsuit, sun tan lotion/block and his favorite food for the BBQ.

David Letterman + Willow Palin = Bad Joke

David Letterman had made a joke about Sarah Palin and her daughter (who he thought was Bristol) at the Yankees game, but it happened to be her 14 year old daughter Willow instead.  His joke, “One awkward moment with Sarah Palin at the Yankees game, during the 7th inning her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”  He was referring to Bristol, the 17 year old daughter who is now a mother, not realizing she was at the game with her 14 year old daughter Willow.

Apparently David Letterman and Sarah Palin have never gotten along and when David Letterman gave an apology and invited Sarah Palin on the show, she refused to go on not wanting to help out his ratings, and we all know that because they are “rivals” the ratings would sky rocket. 

As a politician, you have to know that you will be made fun of, used as the butt end of jokes, etc. so Sarah Palin has no right to normally be upset about this kind of late night humor, EXCEPT the fact that David Letterman was not making fun of Sarah Palin, he was jabbing at her daughter Bristol.  When you start to make fun of the politician’s family and not the politicians themselves, then you are crossing the line, especially if it is about a child.  Politician’s children never asked to be in the spotlight, so it is completely unfair that anyone use them as the butt end of a joke while trying to hit at the politician. 

Due to this inappropriate joke, Olive Garden who had previously run ads during David Letterman’s show is pulling them off of his time slot, saying they never get to view the content of the show until it airs, even though it is filmed during the day.  The fact that David Letterman made a crack at Sarah Palin’s daughter (either one) goes against Olive Garden’s “family atmosphere” and they no longer want to be associated with that kind of behavior.

The day after David Letterman made the joke he made an on air apology, apologizing to Sarah Palin, her daughters, and the rest of the viewing public that felt hurt by these comments.  Angry viewers were sending in letters to the network asking to fire David Letterman, but I doubt that will happen.  His joke had a very mixed response.  Half the audience thought it was hysterical, even so with Willow and took it as a joke, while the other half of the audience was angered by this unsure as to why David Letterman would be so harsh as to go after Sarah Palin’s daughters.  It seems to me the viewing audience is very much like in the presidential elections… mostly 50/50 (at least before the final votes) – half of the people taking Palin’s side, half of the people taking Letterman’s side… it is always about politics.

Arizona Election Tie-Breaker: Drawing Cards

Not every disputed election ends with in revolutions in the streets. Take the case of Cave Creek, AZ (wonder how they picked that name), who recently had a tie-breaker in their election for the top CIty Council seat.

The Arizona state legislature mandates that any election ties are to be determined in a game of chance. Perhaps not feeling lucky enough to toss a coin, roll dice or draw straws, the incumbent Thomas McGuire and Adam Trenk decided to go a more traditional route,  (no they did not have a duel) and instead decided the election based on the highest card.

Imagine the made-for-tv movie with the accompanying sappy music and/or drumroll to set the scene.

The incumbent drew first. Again, we are talking cards, not guns here. It was a six of hearts.

The challenger, drawing upon his thirst for the position, drew second and came up with a winning king of hearts. (If this were actually the movies, I'm sure Trenk would have drawn the Queen of Hearts with the song of the same name blaring in the background.) Thus far, this has not been made into a movie, so I'm pretty sure there weren't any songs blaring in the background, just a Judge, possibly in robes.

Trenk, not surprisingly, seemed pleased with the results. "A king of hearts is pretty good."

Camel Toes are the New Black?!

So apparently camel toes are the new craze, no?!  Well, all of your favorite celebrities seem to be wearing them…  I honestly feel bad for these celebrities, wondering if they really know what they are showing off.  

The newest camel toe offender is Megan Fox, fresh off the set of Transformers II.

My question is, why would you wear stretch pants and no underwear?  It is obvious (maybe to just me) that camel toe will happen if you choose not to wear underwear with tight pants.  I totally understand the

camel toe with the bikini, because sometimes you cannot help that, poor little Hayden Panettiere.  But honestly, Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, Nicole Kidman, Paris Hilton (major contributor of the camel toe), Fergie, and Victoria Beckham did you not look at what you were wearing before leaving the house?  If I ever happen to notice anything like that going on, I quickly change my outfit. 

I also understand costume “malfunctions” such as Britney Spears and Wonder Woman, but who the hell is their costume designer?  Did you purposely want

them to show some camel toe?  And last but not least, lingerie… this is a difficult one, but there are products you can buy if you are modeling lingerie such as the Cuchini (http://www.cuchini.com/pc/Cuchini-c2.htm) that help to prevent
that, Heidi Klum.

One thing that frustrates me is when designers make women’s pants with a seam right down the middle of the crotch or butt… this often makes it look like there is a camel toe going on in the front, when really it is just the seam.  Designers… STUPID idea, stop making pants like that!

So, new craze, or celebrities being careless?  I must say, the camel toe is not and never will be the “new black”, sorry!  The only piece of advice I can give – check

your outfit before leaving the house, or buy a Cuchini (I’m talking to you Paris Hilton).

Mona Lisa, Au Naturale?

Mona Lisa, you sly little minx, you. We always knew there was a good story behind that saucy smirk. Now we know: you posed nudie for Leonardo da Vinci!

Don’t bother to deny it. We know this finding, pulled from inside a wall where it was hidden for who knows how long like a dog-eared copy of Letters to Penthouse, is probably not your twin, your daughter, your mama or your great-aunt Kelly. It’s you!

Documents suggest that it’s probably the work of Leo himself, though perhaps on another yet-to-be-found painting (just how many did you pose for?). And we know he was totally into your pretty face, likely painting it in several different ways. But you in the buff, oh famous lady, is quite a site to see.

Even Alessandro Vezzosi, director of the Louvre, says the resemblance is uncanny. “The frontal look, the position of the hands, the spatial conception of the landscape, with columns at the sides, show a clear link with the Mona Lisa's iconographic theme," he says. Oh, snap.

And given that Napoleon's uncle, Cardinal Joseph Fesch, who owned your bare-bust painting, also wrote that he’d bought "the portrait of the Mona Lisa, mistress of Francis I, by Leonardo da Vinci,” this could just be the real you.

But why hide it in the walls? You sure look happier in this painting, and certainly less like a funeral attendant. I say we post your new portrait up right next to the old one and you can forever be proud, pretty, and yes, nudie.

 

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