The douche bag obsession

As a product of the reality television, internet, and information generation, I am no stranger to new trends. For me, up until recently, this was completely ok—after all, I am usually open-minded and intrigued by new ideas. However, this new trend I simply cannot accept.

This new trend is the source of much confusion, and many people absolutely hate them. They are extremely irritating and prevent others from penetrating the very spotlight they selfishly are taking advantage of. They make sure that in the end, no one has fun. In addition to condoms, the widespread acceptance of the douche-bag is becoming far too prevalent.

I do realize that much like the unemployment rate, there will always be a natural percentage rate of douche-bags within modern society. However, it is like we are in a period of recession in terms of popular culture. The douche-bag rate has recently increased by heights that would make Neil Armstrong blush. If you don’t believe me, I have several examples of douche-nozzles that exhibit repulsive behavior on a regular basis: Donald Trump- Easily one of the biggest douche-mover’s of all time.

During his comedy central roast, I think Anthony Jeselnik summed it up the best, “The only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie Wall Street, is that no one is going to be sad when you get cancer.”

Gucci Mane- An “artist” that strings together series of lines that consist of mumbling, gibberish, and nonsensical word-play to form what some actually consider music. However, he really sealed his douche-fate with a tattoo of an ice cream cone on his face.

Justin Bieber- Happy to perform the cheesiest of crowd-pleasing pop music; some speculate he has yet to undergo certain biological processes of an adolescent. Waka Flocka Flame- Proof that talent isn’t necessary to obtain a record deal.

The Kardashian whores- Socialites that are famous for absolutely nothing. They also have TV shows that feature them doing absolutely nothing.

Jersey Shore- People who are an insult to real Italians—proof of this lies almost entirely in their attire and fake tans.

Unfortunately, despite their behavior, people just can’t get enough of the douche bag lifestyle. People love watching douche-bags live and perform—I suppose it’s similar to an addiction. It’s a shame there isn’t a 12-step process to extradite these douche-bags back to mental capacities which exceed that of an aborted fetus.