Flying the Not-So-Friendly Skies
I recently flew on a full-price American airline and quickly came to a few conclusions about the flight that I find it necessary to share here. If you are a flight attendant or airline executive who wishes to rebut my concerns, please do so in the comment section, but don’t be surprised if I’m not too impressed with your arguments.
First and foremost, the aisles are too narrow. I was constantly bumped by the stewardesses who looked at me as if I had offended them when they pushed their carts accidentally into my arms. Larger passengers who walked by were forced into a bumper-car like situation with the seats as they struggled to get down the aisles with even the slightest bit of turbulence. The reality is that most Americans are not necessarily size 2’s and the airlines should accommodate all of their passengers in a better manner. The airlines should stop trying to pack so many people onto their flights and let Boeing know they need more space between the seats.
Secondly, the seats are too narrow. As the School House Rock video says, “Elbow room, elbow room, everybody needs some elbow room.” That’s simply not possible on an American flight. All left-handed passengers should sit next to the windows because if they sit anywhere else, there is bound to be some accidental and awkward elbowing which could result in a Michael Moore-type incident. The narrow seats also make an Pantsless Improv event on a plane highly unlikely.
Third, most of the flight attendants have been doing their jobs for so long that they are just not as nice any more. I understand that they are grandmothered or grandfathered into their jobs and are not subject to as many HWP or courtesy standards as they once were when they were first hired, but I don’t necessarily think that that is correct. I should not have to be fearful to ask my stewardess for a glass of water or an extra napkin, but I am sometimes. I’m actually more surprised when a steward or stewardess is polite than when they aren’t. (I’ve never found this to be the case on an international airline.)
Fourth, why are we now paying for crap food on the flights? I feel like I’m supposed to kiss ass just to get a tiny little bag with three pretzels and half a can of coke- it’s rare to get an entire can of coke any more. On the flight I took, it was seven dollars for a little thing of fakish processed cheese with crackers. (On a related note, isn’t it a little weird that we have to pay to use headphones?)
So, basically, we are paying more for the privilege of being squished in next to our fellow passengers while having stewardesses complain to us about doing their jobs. I understand that flying the high skies might not be as glamorous as it sounds for the flight attendants, but please recognize the fact that it’s not all that great for the regular economy passengers either.
