5 Beautiful Republican Idiots

The Republican Party for reasons unkown, has never been supportive of women's causes or reproductive rights.  This has never deterred beautiful women from flocking to them. But unlike male conservatives, the women are actually pretty hot, though we couldn't help but notice the abundance of blonde hair(insert blonde joke here) and beauty queen perkiness. Now presenting the Republican Bimbo Brigade!



"Why no Obama in a noose?" or so asked Audra Shay.

Nicely put, Audra. Way to go back to the post-slavery era and remind the American public of presidential assassinations in one full swoop. This blonde 38-year old is running to be the leader of the Young Republicans and personally I hope she wins. I'm really glad to see she is using Facebook to good use. I'd love to see her Tweets as well.

 

Elisabeth Hasselbeck of the View has always had such nice things to say. And she is so articulate as well. Typical Republican Beauty. Watch her with Jesse Ventura here. Somehow this woman manages to annoy me every single time I see her smiling face. Not because she is pretty and blonde, but because she is such a stereo-typical blonde.

 

 

 

Miss Prejean, my personal favorite. Not only does she look pretty, she sticks to her 1950's values with aplomb. I am so glad that she is against gay marriage, as it is a total threat to the sanctity of traditional marriage because why? I guess it really isn't Carrie.  I guess her views are  par for the course for an out-dated pageant in the first place. Too bad she lost her "throne". Now if she would get off her high-horse and shut up, and just stick to standing in a bikini looking pretty the world just might be just a little bit better.

 

 

Ann Coulter. Some great fricking quotes from her here. (And thank you to the people who take the time for these. I greatly appreciate it.) My favorites are:  "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity."

"Liberals love America like O.J. loved Nicole."

That woman has such a way with words. And I do hesitate to put her in the "beautiful woman" category because she claims to be more of a man. Why? She doesn't feel that women should have the right to vote. Also, I hesitate to use phrases with the actual word b*tch in them, but somehow feel that it is appropriate for her.

Sarah Palin. Former beauty queen. Former Governor of Alaska. Former Vice Presidential Candidate and one of the all-time greatest nut-jobs of all time. Crazy like a fox? I don't think so. With all of the new videos out there, I think you should listen to her smoothness in this old prank call. The best part is near the end, so be sure to give it a listen-through. For a hint, listen specifically to her reaction on the "Nailin' Pailin" documentary by Hustler.

Harry Potter is an Atheist

People in the mid-west have one more reason to boycott Harry Potter this summer. The Horror! The Horror!  Harry Potter, aka Wizard Extraordinaire, aka Daniel Radcliffe is an atheist! A Wizard Atheist- how absolutely unbelievable!



Not only is the 19-year-old an atheist, he is a fan of notable Atheist Richard Dawkins. The blasphemy! I can't believe it. A 19-year-old with his own opinion. Thank God he isn't an American.  According to the article I read, Daniel Radcliffe said, "There we go … that’s half of America that’s not going to see the next Harry Potter film on the back of that comment."

I wonder how "The Half-Blood Prince" will survive without the support of Focus on the Family.  I mean, really, Focus on the Family has done such an incredible job of weeding out all the trash on TV and the Internet so far, making United States of America a safer place for us all. I, for one, am happy to have an organization around that not only practices "family values" but one that preaches "family values" non-stop to us all, day in and day out. Seriously, I doubt I would know what was ok to watch and what wasn’t ok to watch without their constant reminders. And how would I know that Daniel Radcliffe was a bad, bad young man without their say-so?

X-Ray Glasses


Would you buy X-Ray glasses if you could? How much would you pay? Would $432 be worth it for a delicious peek through your neighbor's clothing? (just as long as you remember NOT to covet her?) Do you, like Superman, feel the need to look through steel walls just in case there is some way-ward activity on the other side?

In Seoul, South Korea, a Mr. Jeong recently netted $4,650.00 in an Internet scam designed to reign in unsuspecting folks who answered yes to any of the above questions. According to police, Mr. Jeong started 14 Internet sites to sell the glasses, complete with user testimonials touting how good the products were. I love the officers anonymous statement on the matter, "Even though Jeong was fully aware there is no such thing as X-ray glasses, he decided to earn a large amount of money through fake advertisements when people became interested in the glasses."

So, Mr. Jeong was fully aware that there were not any X-Ray glass (which is a serious disappointment to me as I am absolutely positive that I could catch some of my neighbors in decidedly criminal activities if I had a pair) and still sold them. That sounds to me like all of the Spam I get telling me to get penile enlargements. ( Since I'm a woman, I tend not to take those so seriously.)

The article, which appeared recently in one of Korea's largest newspapers, then finished with, "Netizens have been debating online whether such glasses exist, how they work and what they can do."

The article also claims that "X-ray glasses" is one of the most popular search terms on the Internet, which is news to me, but maybe that only relates to South Korea. A Google search for "X-ray glasses" yielded me with a link to X-ray glasses for just $6.99 on Ebay, suggesting either that the South Koreans are more gullible or perhaps have more discretionary income to spend.

 

Farrah's Legacy, Her Fabulous Flip

Michael Jackson is maybe getting a big, huge tribute to his life? But what about poor Farrah? Is she now forgotten, her death eclipsed by someone so strange and so apparently god-like that Farrah herself has been forgotten just a few short days after her death?

Like Michael Jackson, I choose to remember Farrah as she was, and not at the end of her life (like when she had that weird interview on the David Letterman show) and I have decided that to best honor her memory, I will have to somehow, in some way get her hairstyle.

I have done extensive research on this, have uploaded my picture to the not-so-official" Farrah Fawcett hair-styler page, and I must say that I, of course, would look absolutely stunning with her hairstyle on my head. I mean, come on, if that old hag Julia Roberts can pull it off, so can I.......right?

If Michael Jackson, was the King of Pop as they say, was not Farrah Fawcett the queen of hairstyles? Can we not give her some love and attention for her fabulous Farrah flip? Does she not get any credit or remembrance at all for "inspiring" the minds and bodies of teenaged boys throughout the 70's?  I think she deserves a song, "She's got Farrah-Fawcett" hair....If whoever wrote the original of "Betty Davis" eyes made a re-make of that song, she could make an absolute killing.

 

As a tribute to the woman she was, I will endeavor to have my hair like her. As for the sex symbol status she attained, I will leave that to the legions of young women who already aspire for nothing more. We love you, Farrah. Rest in Peace.

Michael Jackson and the God Feeling

 

 (Michael Jackson is now being compared to Mother Theresa and the Pope. (Well, not exactly, but they did make the same paragraph and are all mentioned as somewhat exalted beings)  Yeah, hmmmmm, I understand that completely- NOT! And, by a supposed spiritual leader no less! Deepak Chopra who is reportedly among the deepest of them all and just wrote a column about the God Complex- the strange paradox of how someone can inspire so much in so many people yet be so deeply troubled inside.

 

Deepak Chopra, who knew Michael Jackson personally, sees Michael Jackson as some kind of pop culture matyr and claims that Michael Jackson's song, "Black or White", which contains deep lyrics such as "It doesn't matter if you're black or white" was something that Michael Jackson, due to his own skin disease, strongly believed in. Beyond this, Deepak Chopra believes in the power of pop to inspire the masses to new heights, which he terms as the "God feeling". The problem, Deepak Chopra maintains, is that the God feeling is fleeting and doesn't last for a long time, unlike the feeling inspired by deeply organized faiths. He also compares the "god feeling" to religious communion and mentions several pop stars who have been involved in global projects.  

 

Deepak Chopra closes by saying that, "Michael inspired the God feeling in millions of people, and even amidst the grief at his sad undoing, a remembrance of that feeling comes through." 

 While I can accept some of that, I don't know if that makes Michael the transcendant being that Deepak seems to see when he envisions his old friend.  Watching Michael Jackson over the years, God and Michael are not two words that I have even bothered to consider in the same sentence; rather, I watched Michael Jackson's life the same way as most Americans have, as that of a Freak show, which doesn't necessarily make me proud, but I feel that is a more honest assessment of Michael Jackson's legacy.  

 

A Closer Look at Billy Mays and His Empire

Last week famed pitchman Billy Mays passed away.  Many people remember him as the Oxy Clean guy or the guy in the blue shirt and khaki’s who yelled when he spoke.  He also had a show called “Pitchmen”, where he and a collegue were followed around by a camera crew through their pitch journeys and careers.  Billy was a very likeable guy, rising from modest beginnings to create an empire built around his style and voice.  In the end he died much too young of heart disease, leaving a pitchman legacy in his wake.  All of this is sad, but when I begin to feel sad, I often find myself wondering exactly what Billy contributed to society, besides all of the cheesy, gotta have it now type of products he sold on TV.

I realize that Mr. Mays was a human being and was a very generous, caring one at that.  But just think of what that man could have accomplished with his talents had he focused them on things that benefited society as a whole instead of being a giant sales machine.  Instead of hawking $20 knives and salsa makers, Billy could have helped to raise money for charities or even use his skills of persuasion to convince world leaders that many geopolitical issues that have been relegated to the back burner of history need to be re-examined or solved.  In the end it was all about money, and all the people who were making money around Billy Mays.

I don’t mean to sound harsh or rude, but if this is the legacy that Billy leaves us with, it’s not much better than that of any run of the mill sales representative or pitchman selling any sort of mostly-useless, ultra-hyped product.  Billy was just unique in the fact that he had a real knack for sales.  He also seemed to have a talent for reading people.  Why not put that to work?  Why not try and convince an addict that rehab is his or her best option?  This all sounds very idealistic, but certainly Billy Mays of all people could have used his amazing talents and crowd appeal to benefit humanity.  I don’t feel like I help the world in any way whatsoever when I buy into his product pitches.  All that I’m buying into is junk that I don’t really need.

Billy was a talented salesman, but he was helping to propel the rampant consumerism and wasteful spending and use of products that are, when you take a long, hard look at them, rather unnecessary in today’s world.  Would a poor person living in a village in El Salvador have any use for a Magic Jack?  No, but they would benefit from Americans donating a few dollars or some free time toward helping lift people in that village out of poverty.  Billy had such a way with people and sales that I’m sincerely disappointed he didn’t refocus his skills and effort in a way that helped people instead of creating more junk and debt.  Either way you look at it, he will be sorely missed and will likely become one of America’s sales and pop culture icons.

Gay Marriage made Sanford cheat

Mark Sanford’s heterosexual affair and crumbling marriage are the work of gays and Democrats, according to his wife Jenny. In her own words:

“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay, but he may as well be.  The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family.  Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.” – Jenny Sanford

Do Republicans take blame for anything? Just curious, because between all of them blaming Obama for the national messes he is trying to clean up and this dumb broad blaming her husband’s philandering on Gay Marriage it is beginning to look a lot like these people do no wrong, except, of course, when they do wrong, which is never their fault. She just blamed her marriage collapse on gays because he was an international playboy with Latina lovers. What? Maybe she’s just pissed. Maybe she needs to blame her husband for seeking greener pastures, not the gays.

Another GOP star, Rush Limbaugh wasted no time to jump right in on this one either:

“It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. “America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed.  When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied?”

I’m married and not one gay has tried to break us up, except for this one guy at a bar once, but for a Democrat, I have remarkable self-control and was able to avoid marital disaster, but just barely.

Move over Coca Cola – Cow Urine, Soft Drink of Choice

Who wants Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Root beer, or Mountain Dew when you can have the new soft drink of choice – Cow Urine?  In India, it is the new craze and it is called “Gau Jal” or “Cow Water” in English.  This new soft drink was undergoing tests and should be launched shortly.  This new soft drink is being made by the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) which is India’s largest and oldest Hindu Nationalist group.

Om Prakash, the leader or RSS had told The Times “Don’t worry, it wont smell like urine and will be tasty too.” “It’s going to be very healthy.  It won’t be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins.”  This new soft drink is meant to wing India from foreign dependency and promote its ideology of Hinduness.

Currently in India, it is illegal to slaughter cows; they respect them and use them for good.  They currently use the cow’s poop as fuel and disinfectant.  Cow poop and urine is often used in rituals to purify those Hindu’s that are on the bottom of the caste system.  In 2001, the RSS promoted cow urine as a cure for liver disease, obesity and cancer.  The RSS in 1994 proposed a boycott for anything Coca Cola and Pepsi, trying to veer from foreign dependence, hence why they are making cow urine refreshments. 

Prakash was quoted saying that he believes that this new product will be competing against the American Coca Cola brand products and that this new refreshment will be cheap to make and cheap for consumers to purchase.  He truly believes that this drink will help to cure ailments and they have been in talks of exporting this cow urine soft drink.

I get that cow urine, or urine in general may have healing properties.  I mean astronauts recycle their own pee on the space shuttle, not necessarily to help fight off a cold, but because they do not have room to carry excess water.  I guess you cannot knock this new “Gau Jal” until you try it, but I am not completely sold yet on why I would like the flavor, the fact that I am drinking a cow’s urine, or the healing properties of this one particular drink.  Even if I was an astronaut or stuck out in the middle of the forest and had to recycle my own urine, I think I would do everything possible, including drinking off of leaves, etc before I recycled and drank my own urine.  To me it is not a pleasure drink such as Coca Cola, but a drink for survival purposes.

Please, someone who has tasted this drink, I would personally like to know – what do you think?  Will it sell in America, does it taste good, did you think of cow urine while you drank it?  Did your body feel healed, do you feel refreshed?  All I know is that this new cow urine will have to have major healing properties or an out of this world taste (in a good way) for me to give it a shot. 

Pages