Michael Jackson The King of Pope

Why is everybody and their dog (and perhaps their cats) acting like the world is a worse place without Michael Jackson? Why are we pretending that he wasn't a huge weirdo and that he wasn't more than likely a child molester? Seriously, I will miss Michael, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I felt like he was misunderstood, or a great musician, or a great guy that I would have liked to have a beer with. No, I will miss Michael Jackson in exactly the same way I miss the circus Freaks at the Carnival- because he is the weirdest person on the planet.

My personal favorite comment on Michael Jacksonwas a typo referring to him as the "king of pope"....speaking of which, I wonder if the Pope has weighed in on the subject. Not, mind you, that I have any more respect for the Pope than I do for Michael Jackson, but it would be interesting to hear his views on the subject.

Comments from Bloggers quite literally blow my mind: "I had a greatest Respect for you and will have forever! We will miss you!!"

I would like to know what exactly, Shrawan, the mystery commenter who seems to represent so many views from the US, actually thinks "Respect" means? How can you possibly respect someone you would never leave alone with your children? How can you "miss" someone that you never even knew, and who more than likely be incapable of actual speech if your paths ever crossed? What is going on?

Even my mom, who is usually a pop-ignaramus, had some words on the subject: I'm just worried about his kids now. Great, mom, glad you're worried now......didn't you have some concern at all when he was dangling one of his children out of the fricking window?

Other commenters on random sites really crack me up. "Micheal was on of the most Talented people to ever walk on this planet." Wow-ever to walk on the planet. I knew he had some good songs and I really liked the Thriller video, but was he really one of the most talented people on the planet?  Of six billion people now, and all who walked the earth before him.....I guess some people's fields of vision don't extend far past their flat-screen TVs.......



Basically, I just don't get it. Most of the people I knew were making fun of him, and now he is being regarded as a Legend for all of Time.

Speaking of Celebrity Deaths – A Look Back at Katharine Hepburn

It has been six years ago today that actress, Katharine Hepburn (May 12, 1907- June 29, 2003) died at the age of 96.  Hepburn was well known in theatre, film and television, winning four Oscars for Best Actress (out of 12 nominations), an Emmy in 1976 for ‘Love Among the Ruins’ (out of 5 nominations), 2 Tony awards and 8 Golden Globes.  Katharine Hepburn was also ranked by the American Film Institute in 1999 as the Greatest Female Star in the history of American cinema.

Some interesting facts that you may not have known about Katharine Hepburn:

*She idolized her older brother Tom, and when she found him dead in 1921 by an “accidental hanging” she started to use his birthday, November 8th as her own. 

*She wanted to impress her father, so she took figure skating, golf and swimming.  She won a bronze medal for ice skating at the Madison Square Garden skating club.  She shot golf in the low 80’s and reached the semifinalists for the Connecticut Young Women’s Gold Championship.  She would also swim in the cold waters in front of her house on a regular basis.

*Her mother, Katharine Houghton co-founded Planned Parenthood.

*She had five brothers and sisters, she was the second oldest. 

*She was named after her mother and her oldest brother named after their father.

*While attending Bryn Mawr College, she was suspended for breaking curfew and smoking.

*She used to swim naked after dark in her college’s “Cloisters” fountain.

*She was almost taken away with her house in the New England Hurricane of 1938, but barely escaped.  She had written that she had lost 95% of her belongings from that hurricane including her 1932-1933 Best Actress Oscar.

*She was cast in her first leading role in ‘The Big Pond’ (originally the understudy) which opened in New York.  She was so scared that in the opening performance that she arrived late, stumbled over her lines, tripped over her feet and spoke her lines too fast for theater goes to understand.  She was fired.

*She was well known for her physicality, always willing to do her own stunts (this got her noticed by agents and even Hollywood scouts and even landed her a screen test for ‘A Bill of Divorcement’).  

*Hepburn started to demand $1,500/week for film work (when she first started) when she had only been making $80-$100/week.

*Started the fashion trend of women wearing pant, stating it was more “comfortable”.

*She wrote a book in 1991, entitled ‘Me’.

 

Katharine was well known for her anti-Hollywood attitude, which did not help her gain a fan base.  She would constantly make fun of other Hollywood starlets such as Ginger Rogers and she would always turn down media interviews and attention, once telling a reporter when they had asked if she had any children, “Two white and three colored.” Although untrue, she told the reporter this to get them off of her back.  She would also refuse to sign autographs for her fans, later being nicknamed, “Katharine of Arrogance” which then caused her fans and movie goes to shy away from her films.

 

Katharine died in 2003 from natural causes in Connecticut at the age of 96.  In honor of her extensive theater work, the lights of Broadway were dimmed for an hour.

Stay Healthy – Date a Comedian

A blonde, brunette and redhead all went in for an interview for an administrative position.  The brunette is called in first.  Her interview goes extremely well, she seems to be what the company is looking for and the last questions the interviewer asks her is, “How many D’s are in Indiana Jones?” The brunette is quick to respond (slightly thrown off guard), “One!?”  “Perfect” said the interviewer, we will be contacting you shortly about the job.  The interviewer then calls in the redhead.  She is a little more fiery and sassy than the brunette, which the interviewer likes.  Her interview goes well and the interviewer asks her the same question, to which she replies, “Is this a joke? One!”  The interviewer tells her that this is not a joke; they are asking everyone this question.  He is pleased with her answer and tells her that they will be contacting her shortly about the job.  The interviewer then calls in the blonde.  She is charming and cute, but not as smart as the brunette and redhead, but he loves her personality.  The interview also goes well and he asks her the final question, “How many D’s are in Indiana Jones?”  The blonde sits there for a minute, really thinking.  She starts to count on her fingers.  She then asks the interviewer for a calculator.  The interviewer, confused, hands her one.  After punching in a few numbers, the blonde finally says, “22!” “22?” The interviewer says.  How did you come up with that number?  The blonde says (to the tune of Indiana Jones), “Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da Da, etc.)

You always hear people say that laughter is the best medicine, and I must agree.  People that I have the most fun with when I am out (and I mean anywhere: park, bar, Disneyland, BBQ, funeral, wedding) are comedians or people with a sense of humor.  I have actually dated a few guys that were absolutely hysterical and trust me; they were way more fun than the super intellectual or super serious guys.  I dated this one guy once who everyday, several times a day pulled pranks on people.  Whether it was using the farting app on his iphone when someone sat down or prank phone calling someone using a different voice pretending to sell you some new computer software, with him there was never a dull moment.  That is what I absolutely loved about him, knowing that no matter what, whenever I was hanging out with him, I would always have a blast, we could have been cleaning the house, pulling weeds, at his dog’s funeral, and we still had fun, laughing the whole time.  Come to think of it, I do not think I was ever sick during our relationship either (which lasted almost a year).  The only difficult thing about dating him was that he had a hard time ever being serious.  Whenever we needed to talk about something important, he was still making a joke out of it or not taking it seriously and that became something slightly frustrating, which eventually ended our relationship. 

There have even been scientific studies done with laughter curing the sick.  According to an article on Associated Content website, a doctor had found that one minute of true laughter had brought up his heart rate to the same level as 10 minutes on his home rowing machine.   During a PNI (psychoneuroimmunology) study, evidence was gathered that proved that the mind and body connection exists and they communicate with one another through the flow of hormones, cytokines, and neuropeptides.  These indicate that mood, thoughts, emotions and beliefs truly due impact a person’s health and well-being, meaning laughter really is the best medicine.   

Having known people with cancer and older people who are sick in the hospital, watching them laugh truly does brighten their day and lift their spirits.  When a person is in a good place in life, mind, body, they feel better and live healthier.  Remember, laughter truly is the best medicine!

Perez Hilton's money is dirty

HaHa- Perez Hilton is a fool. The celebrity blogger who gets paid for being a judgmental little whiner, has had a rough week. First he forfeited his gay rights credit by calling Black Eyed Peas manager Polo Molina an “effen fa&&ot”. He then forfeited his dignity when he got punched back in the face by Mr. Molina. He also dragged it on by making videos about the whole mess when he should have just let his bad behavior go the way of Michael Jackson. And now he had his credibility removed personally by the mother of slain gay man Matthew Shepard, whose foundation is one of the biggest gay rights groups in America. It seems Mr. Hilton was counting his law suit chickens before the hens even filed any paperwork by promising that any settlement he gets from the pending lawsuit would go to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Well, except that the foundation doesn’t want Perez’s homophobic statement money.

 “But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton’s admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.” – Judy Shepard – The Matthew Shepard Foundation

 Classic. Perez managed to destroy himself and his main agenda (gay rights) by acting worse than the very people he makes fun of all day. Funny stuff. So here’s to you Perez: you suck!  ;) If you support gay rights, or think Perez is an idiot, click here to make a donation:

The Problem with Drivers/Driving in the Seattle, Bellevue, and remaining Puget Sound Region

All day long, I drive the I-5 corridor for work. Sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out. I have to schedule my appointments around traffic because if I want to go anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, it requires planning and knowing the streets. There are many types of drivers in the Puget Sound area piss me off, so here's a few I would like to share with you.

1) Rushing to Work Guy
What he looks like: He's driving kind of slow, and you keep seeing him bobbing his head up and down.
Why he's dangerous: He's late for work because he partied too late the night before, and he's trying to check up on emails and chat on his Blackberry at the same time.

2) I do my make-up while I'm driving Girl
What she looks like: I once saw a woman in Tacoma, WA who was actually brushing her hair while driving. Now, I understand a quick brush through at a red light to get a tangle out, but this girl literally brushed her hair for about 5 miles.
Why she's dangerous: She only has one hand on the wheel, and her mirror is pointed down at herself so she can look at herself while she is driving/doing her hair. She's so not paying attention.


3) We're from the suburbs Family
What they look like: They're in a mini-van with those annoying little family stick figure stickers on the back window. They more than likely are sporting one or more "my child is an honor school student" bumper sticker.
Why they're dangerous: They only drive into the big city on special occasions or on the weekend, and they always forget to get their asses into the HOV lane.


4) Big Rig Trucker Passing Through
What they look like: A big trucker
Why they're dangerous: They're impatient, and ride your ass.

 

5) Whoops, I forgot where I was going guy
What he looks like: He's in the far left lane during rush hour and then tries desperately to work his way over to the right lane for the next exit in 1/4 mile.
Why he's dangerous: He isn't paying attention to where he's going, and can easily cause an accident because no one else is paying attention to where they're going or where he's going.

6) I never learned how to merge Man
What he looks like: He's they guy on the on-ramp to the freeway who is still going 30 MPH as he approaches the merge point.
Why he's dangerous: If he doesn't move his fucking Prius out of the way, I am going to ram into him.... because I know that as you are merging onto a freeway you are supposed to accelerate to match the speed of traffic.

7) I didn't tie my load down correctly Dude
What he looks like: A truck with shit flying off the back
Why he's dangerous: He can kill you.

 

8)  I'm not from around here,
in fact, I'm from  California
What he looks like: A foreigner, as in someone not from Seattle.
Why he's dangerous: He doesn't quite grasp U.S. driving etiquette, and could quite possibly cause road rage.


9) I think I can drive fast in snow Guy
What he looks like: He's the guy spinning out in front of you on the road, or following his GPS and crashing into the freeway
Why he's dangerous: Seattle has hills, it's dangerous and he's a dumb ass and doesn't know when to slow down. He could also cause a major mid-winter pile up. Also, use your brain, don't go down an icy hill in the winter, unless you want to tempt fate.

10) Driving the wrong way on the Freeway Guy

What he looks like: Scott Noble, King County Assesor
Why he's dangerous: He's drunk driving, and he's serving in public office. Thank God he didn't kill someone. Asshole.

 


Recommended for further Bad Driver reading:
Washington State Drivers License Guide
One Man's Blog
Seattle Driving Ettiqutte

OMG! Michael Jackson is Dead

OMG! Michael Jackson, pop hero of my youth, and the quite possibly the strangest American in the ENTIRE history of our nation has just been rushed to the hospital and is now DEAD.


Michael Jackson has a slew of shows lined up for this summer that I don't think he will be making. The singer was an even 50-years-old.

Whatever will we do without Michael Jackson to make fun of? I don't know what will happen to the general pop culture of the US now that we have lost  perhaps our greatest pop icon in history. While the children around him (if any children are even allowed around him any more) might be safer, I'm sure the rest of the world will miss him greatly.

For years, I have waited for his latest music to come out, looked religiously on his publicity photos for signs that he is indeed really his sister Latoya, and marvelled at the continued allegations at his strange playhouse of a home.

I have no idea what is happening in the world. First, Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett and now this!

What Students Leave Behind.....

As Jim Morrison crooned, "People are strange, when you're a stranger..." I don't think the talented Mr. Morrison was  necessarily referring to the weird things that university students leave behind in their dorm rooms at the end of the semester, but since he is no longer with us, I can't be sure.



The charity Unite in the UK has the rather interesting task of reuniting students with their lost belongings and is responsible for collecting the items, counting them, and reporting on what the students have left behind. In the past, these included mostly traffic and road signs (I always suspected the Brits were an unusual lot).  Now the list is different, but no less bizarre.

Among the list of items left:

  • a pair of budgies (also known as parakeets)
  • a snake
  • frozen chicken feet ( having tried that particular delicacy, I can understand why this was left in the room)
  • a snake
  • an inflatable swimming pool with water (the water was probably stagnant and I imagining it rampant with creepy-crawlies)


More commonly, the students left mobile phone chargers, text-books (do they not have the buy-back policy in the UK? this would never have happened at my school- the cash for books policy gave me gas money for the long ride back home), and more tragically, Ipods.

The agency happily reports that a majority of the pets that have been left behind have found either their old owners or been placed in new homes.

BREAKING NEWS: Charlie's Angel and 70's Icon, Farrah Fawcett, 62 Dies

The beautiful and talented Farrah Fawcett died this morning around 9am from a long 3-year battle with anal cancer.

Hours before her death, Fawcett was given her last rites and friends close to Fawcett told Barbara Walters that she was hours away from dying.  Barbara Walters announced it in the opening of her Good Morning America show. 

Farrah Fawcett’s family and friends gathered around her bedside this morning in a hospital in Los Angeles including her fiancé (or planned to be) Ryan O’Neal.  In an interview on the Barbara Walters show, set to air this Friday, Walters asked O’Neal how her current condition was and he was quoted saying, “She’s fighting for her life.” O’Neal and Fawcett had been romantically involved since 1982 and had a son together, but had never been married.

Last month it was noted that Fawcett’s cancer had spread to her liver and that her treatment had effectively ended.  I could not imagine what life would be like knowing you have a very short time to live.

You may remember Fawcett from shows such as:  Charlie’s Angeles, I Dream of Jeannie, The Flying Nun, The Partridge Family, and The Six Million Dollar Man.

Farrah Fawcett has left behind her 24 year old son, Redmond O’Neal.

Farrah, you were absolutely beautiful and such a fighter these last few years with cancer.  You will never be forgotten and I hope that you may be able to rest in peace.

Burger King's 7 Inches

So, Bacardi wants girls to get even uglier girlfriends to look better by comparison. Now, Burger King wants girls to "put seven inches in our mouths"? This does not appear to be a joke, either. So, yet again, I find myself asking the same question again and again, "What crack pipe are they smoking?"

The picture is bad enough, so I don't really think it needs to accompanying caption: It'll Blow Your MInd Away. Has the whole advertising world gone topsy-turvy and given themselves the morals of Maxim Magazine? Sex, apparently sells, but I really wonder who this ad is targeted towards. Is it aimed at young women, young men of a certain persuasion or the population at large? Regardless, I can't believe this passed the muster and I do not in any way consider myself to be a prude.

What's next? Is Subway going to steal the ad campaign for their foot-longs? Is Dunkin Donuts going to suggest new and lewd uses for their pastries in order to appeal to our latent sexuality and hidden desires?

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