August 2010

Donors Take Care

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Sperm-donor Offspring Seek Rights and Respect

Item from the Associated Press -- "Offspring of sperm donors seek changes so they can find their fathers more easily, but others worry about the effects of banning anonymous sperm donations. "

Donor dads run for the hills! Your babies are after you!

Why would someone donate to a sperm bank? Do they get paid? Do they want to have anonymous children? Are the donors out to improve the human species by reproducing themselves, anonymously?

And babies why do you want to find these anonymous dads? Health reasons? Do you now need dear old anonymous dad to donate part of his liver too? So many questions and not good enough answers.

Dads if your anonymous kids get rights to know who you are, do they get inheritance rights? What about all those years of child support you missed out on?

Tug of War In The August Heat

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A tug of war in the summer heat?

It is the summer time, August. What else is there to do? It's is too hot to think, and so the residents of two Mississippi River towns have figured out what to do. Why shouldn't they do it?

It is the time of their annual Tug of War contest. A sweaty, can get dirty and grimy, battle of brawn and grip in the crazy heat -- Leave the brains to the people wearing the straw hats. The people have come to chill, to have fun.

Everyone needs fun. If we don't do the silly-crazy now and then, take a break from the serious, take the time out to just have fun, our lives would be boring.. Those moments of play, when we do or watch things that exist for the sole purpose of making us laugh, are what keep us going. Hell, those moments keep the world going.

Laura Schlessenger, Dr. Malpractice

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Dr. Laura Schlessenger is in a bit of hot water, because she used the nasty "N" word on her radio program. She used it more than once. She went into a what can only be called a "n" word rant.

An African-American woman married to a white dude called for advice. The caller thought her husband's white friends were wrong for using the N word.

A partial transcript of Dr Laura use of the "n" word:

CALLER: Is it OK to say that word? Is it ever OK to say that word?

DR. LAURA: It depends how it's said. Black guys talking to each other seem to think it's ok.

CALLER: But you're not black, they're not black, my husband is white.

DR. LAURA: Oh, I see, so a word is restricted to race. Got it. Can't do much about that.

10 Awesome Chopped Spinoffs, Part II

5. Comedians

Comedians must come up with all new material during the appetizer round. Material must surround topics provided by the game. In Round II, comedians have to perform the material in front of a rowdy bar crowd and make the customers laugh at least 75% of the time. In round III, they must take turns dodging thrown vegetables, drinks, and chairs, with the most points going to the person who sustains the least amount of injuries.

4. CPAs

Each accountant must sign, stamp, and seal as many papers as possible in ten minutes. During round II, a complete audit of a major, unsavory corporation (Enron, Halliburton, ect.) must be conducted within 30 minutes. In round III, each accountant must explain the ins and outs of financial, estate, and tax planning and preparation to a client without making him or her fall asleep.

10 Awesome Chopped Spinoffs

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If you are a Food Network fan (I’m a newbie myself) you might be into the addictive show called Chopped. In it, renowned chefs battle to beat one another—and the clock—by creating an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert out of specific ingredients they are all given in a short time frame. Some weird ingredients include peanut butter, cinnamon candies, sardines, and plenty of other curve balls. It’s a lot of fun to watch—and oddly addictive.

What would happen, I thought the other day during a commercial break, if other industries tried the Chopped formula? I think plenty of different areas could have some fun with the Chopped theme. Here are just ten of them.

10. Cops

Dina Lohan - Still World's Best Mom

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On the Today show this morning dreamy (balding) Matt Lauer interviewed everyones favorite mom - Dina Lohan! One of the most "important" questions Matt asked wast about how Lindsey is doing in rehab. The response by the Mother of the Year award winner "She's great. She's been through a lot. The judge played hardball. Lindsay was in prison with alleged murderers, and she's become friends with a lot of them. Lindsay's rolled with the punches and she's doing wonderfully."

Shes doing wonderfully with her new friends that like to murder people? What? Dina, "pumpkin tits" (my petname for her), are you freebasing? How is there anything wonderful about being pals with murderers - even if they only "allegedly" took PCP, got naked, and stabbed someone to death behind a Quiznos?

Steven Slater, American Instant Folk Hero

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Pulling A Steven-Slater: It's In The Way You Quit Your Job

Sometimes the job gets to the best of workers, especially when the job requires dealing with the public, and among the public are more than a few very difficult customers. I've been there.

Yesterday morning, Steven Slater, a flight attendant at Jet Blue Airline, came to the point when he said enough is enough and became an instant Internet folk hero.

Who hasn't had days like Steven Slater and who, working in the service field, haven't had to deal with a difficult customer or two and wanted to pull a Steven-Slater?

Chupacabra-esque Greta Van Susteren Intentionally Racist?

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So it looks like Fox "News" and their celebrity wine opener Greta Van Susteren are up to something fishy again. I'ts not enough to terrify the elderly on a daily basis but now they have the gall to be openly racist on the air? How hard is it to tell two completely different looking, news worthy, older African American women apart? Granted the "news" over on Fox is not journalism at its best but have somebody take a minute away from the propaganda machine to discern who is who! It is not like it was a late night mugging and you picked the wrong guy because they "all look the same" ... or is it?

Mitch Miller, R.I.P.

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Mitch Miller is dead at 99. All the good people do not die young. All the talented do not go early. The Associated Press reports that Mr. Miller died Saturday in a New York hospital after a short illness.

He wasn't a rock-n-roller. He was pre-rock -n-roll. He was Tony Bennett, Patti Page, Rosemary Clooney and Johnny Mathis kind of music, the popular stuff with ballads, that required orchestras with strings. He was a record executive and sat on top of the world of the popular music in the 1950s and the early 1960s. He was an orchestra leader, with a popular TV show in the early 1960s, which I remember watching. The show was called 'Sing Along With Mitch.'

Justin Bieber to Write Book?

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Yesterday, Monday, there was an announcement of big news in the publishing world! No, not another undiscovered until now, some lost masterpiece by the likes of Shakespeare, more important than that to pop culture. The sixteen year-old pop sensation, singer Justin Bieber has signed a big money deal with really, big-time book publisher HarperCollins to write a book.

Can he write? If he can sign his name, he can write. And besides the book will be his memoirs, his autobiography. And it's going to be an illustrated book. And all he has to do is to put pictures of himself, smiling, in the book, write a few captions, and go on the Internet and tell his zillions of little girl fans to buy it, and they will, and it will be a best seller, and in the world of publishing that is all that counts. Period.

Tom Mankiewicz, Screenwriter, R.I..P.

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Tom Mankiewicz, a screenwriter died Saturday at his home in Los Angeles after a brief illness, reports today's LA Times. He was 68 years old.

The man was a very important popular writer. He wrote screen plays. Movies are the premier popular medium and movies don't move with writers. His work is in the James Bond films --"Diamonds Are Forever," "Live and Let Die," "The Man With the Golden Gun,." "The Spy Who Loved Me," and "Moonraker.". His work is in the Superman films: The 1978 film " Superman" and its 1980 sequel. Yes, his work is in the 1976 film "Mother, Jugs & Speed," but even a popular and entertaining writer stumbles now and then.

Waiting for a Star

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Early yesterday morning, Monday, at about 1:35 LA time, Lindsay Lohan, age 24, was let out of jail, for violating probation on a DUI conviction and was taken to rehab, where.she is now required to serve ninety days. Judging by the her fans attention, and just as important, the media attention, the public is waiting for Ms. Lohan. The director of her latest film project is waiting.

The fact is that she has talent that is worth a little patience. She is twenty four years old, which is a young age for a regular person, but for a film actress, a career with demands that provide female actors with a limited time to shine, twenty four is the time when the best female actors begin to shine, when starlets either burst into brilliant stars or flame out and become forgotten.

Ms Lohan deserves a moment of patience, therefore America waits for a star.

Feeling Good Charlie

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Charlie Sheen said he was feeling good, moments after he left the court room in Colorado, where Pitkin County District Judge James C. Boyd sentenced him to sentenced to 30 days of drug and alcohol rehabilitation, in a rehab center in Malibu, California, instead of jail time. Charlie plead guilty as charge to assaulting his wife on Christmas Day, last year, in Aspen. He also got 30 days of probation and 36 hours of anger management. He had a good lawyer who worked out a good plea deal with the prosecutors for him. The Associated Press reports, Charlie has up to 30 days to report to rehab in Malibu. And, reports the website TMZ, Charlie will receive credit for time already served in rehab. So once Charlie checks in, he can check out almost immediately.

Lady GaGa's Novel Sex Theory

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I have never heard of this theory before. Lady Gaga in an interview in "Vanity Fair" magazine's September issue, says she is trying to avoid sex because, "I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina," And yes, she is 24-year-old too. And she says that she is she's "perpetually lonely. It's my condition as an artist, I'm quite celibate now."

Well, there it  is. The celibate state is the secret to her success. Celibacy has made her "gaga," or keeps her "gaga."

In the same issue, she confesses her past drug use and tells of how her family, her mom and her grandmother helped her through the crisis to recovery.

Lady GaGa Doing It Her own Way

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Lady GaGa did not boycott Arizona. She went to Phoenix, Arizona, to bad mouth, trash talk about the bad, horrible, anti-American and racist law SB1070. Maybe, the Lady went to collect a few duckets for herself and her band too. Anyhow, last Saturday night, before 14,000-plus fans, and with Stop SB 1070" written on her left forearm, she slammed the Arizona's new immigration law, which went into effect last Thursday, minus some of its more odious provisions. Lady GaGa urged her fans to protest SB 1070 and all discriminatory laws. See the video.

Chelsea Clinton Got Married

Little Chelsea Clinton all grown up into a young woman is now an old married lady. She got married yesterday, Saturday evening, to her longtime boyfriend, Marc Mezvinsky, in Rhinebeck, N.Y., in the manner befitting an American princess, at an exclusive estate along New York's Hudson River. Her family released the photos, which are now all over the Internet. See the video.

Why was the wedding of Chelsea Clinton's an important event? Well, it brought a little bit of bright sunshine. It was a reminder of happier times not so long ago. It was a reminder of a few of the things which are very important: Family -- marriage is the union of families, Romantic love -- marriage is the union of two people. Eye pleasing ritual and ceremony -- people love a ceremony and a nation needs rituals.

Of course, the wedding was Chelsea Clinton's moment, and it was an American moment.

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