A Brit To Replace Larry King

The headline: Piers Morgan to Replace Larry King.

I don't know anything about this Piers Morgan dude, other than what I read on-line. He's a Brit. That means he's from England. That means he is not from the USA. My question is: Couldn't CNN find somebody from the states?

This choice seems to fit right in with falling ratings. This is walking backwards with ones eyes closed. The program Larry King hosted for so many years was an American talk show. Larry sat down behind his suspenders and asked the questions of guests that a whole lot of people wanted to hear asked. He asked those questions and he let the guests answer them. This is a skill, which he acquired from many years on talk radio, back when talk radio was noted for interesting talk and not for shrill politics,

What does a Piers Morgan know of America? Maybe CNN is going to give the country a different kind of show, because there is an ocean of difference between Larry King and Piers Morgan, and I wouldn't be surprise that there will be just as much distance between Mr. Morgan and the American audience.

A Brit To Replace Larry? With this kind of thinking, I can see why CNN's ratings are sinking.

Jon Stewart on Terry Jones, et.al.

The crazy preacher Terry Jones now says his book burning is on hold. He might still burn the Quran. Mr. Jones is hanging on to the spotlight, and to the camera, extending his moment of fame for a little longer, probably because he enjoys the attention.

Jon Stewart of Comedy Central's The Daily Show, weighed in on the crazy preacher, on the preacher's silly-looking mustache, on the preacher's self-aggrandizement, and on the whole insane out break of Islamic phobia, and he took special satirical jabs at Republicans leaders and commentators who compare a nut, who wants to burn people's holy book, with American Muslims, who want to build a mosque. Mr. Stewart emphasized the inaneness of the comparison, saying, "a Christian is an extremist for burning the Quran, and a Muslim is an extremist for reading from it?" And better still he pokes fun at religious bigotry and intolerance, and at the ridiculous self righteousness of idiots who think they have the right to sit in judgment of some other person's religion. See the video.

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A new study: Fat Men Sex Machines?

News giving one to the heavy set, the weight challenged, the fat guy.

I guess this is another example of science working to discover -- what? Anyway, Salon reports that a new study by Erciyes University in Turkey concluded that men of larger size last longer in bed. Larger size in body weight that is.

Will women shun the lean buff gym dudes for the diet and exercise challenged fat dudes? The study found that "lean jocks are prone to premature ejaculation," and that fatter men last longer in bed.

Researchers at Erciyes University in Kayseri have just completed a yearlong study correlating body mass index (BMI) and male sexual performance. Their findings: Men with excess body fat last longer in bed. In fact, heavier men were able to make love for an average of 7.3 minutes, while slender men could count themselves lucky if they held on for a mere 108 seconds.

7.3 minutes compared to 108 seconds? That's almost seven and a half minutes compared to less than two minutes. That's almost four times as much work for the dudes (and good, hopefully fulfilling work), and four times more fun for the ladies. Four times the fun for men too.

The reason (for this phenomenon)? Female hormones. Men with excess fat showed higher levels of the female estradiol sex hormone. This substance apparently disrupted their bodies' natural "male" neurotransmitter chemicals and slowed their progression towards orgasm. Ironically, the less masculine their bodies appeared, the better lovers they proved to be.

Female hormones, huh?

The scientists compared the BMI and sexual performance of over 100 men who were being treated for sexual dysfunction with 100 other males who lasted longer during sex. They found that men suffering from premature ejaculation were on the whole thinner and fitter than their "better endowed" brethren.

Well, will the line at the burger and fries counter get longer and the line for salad and quiche shrink? Should American dudes stack up on belly fat?

Not so fast. With all that weight, and all that sex, a man could have a heart attack. Okay, so the heavy dude may be going longer in bed, but when he really is going -- like in taking that final withdrawal -- from life -- well? Going very, very happy is not necessarily a good trade off for going early. What is so good about being good in bed when you're dead? So, I'll make the most of the time I have and stay in the quiche line.

On TYT, The Florida Pastor, the Media at-large

Yesterday's web cast  TYT , with Cenk of the The Young Turks, gave one of the best run down on the issues involved in the Pastor Terry Jones stunt. TYT is a good web news outlet. The folks at TYT do a good job.

Mr. Jones is the pastor of a tiny Florida church (membership all of fifty people) who has drawn mucho attention to himself, by saying that he is determined to go ahead with a plan to burn the Quran, despite opposition from around the world, and warning and threat from wack jobs, some even more wacked than himself. See the video.

As for the media at-large -- It is amazing how one wack job can attract so many other wack jobs by stepping into, and by stepping up, a hot button issue, and it is amazing how quick this media is to build nothing into something that is not good, because this media has to fill its space and time. And more -- has to feed an audience to be fed dollars Often, what this media offers for those dollars is rage, outrage and the outrageous. The goal is to get dollars not to give nourishment or substance. When one sees an outfit like TYT at work, one must give ones appreciation.

Dance Moves Attract Women

Science marches on. CBS news reports "a new study by British scientists finds that women tend to be more attracted, or in some cases turned off, by the way a man can dance." See the video.

This was a scientific study, the world is told, and was not done just to provide employment to idle minds. The idea was to find which male dance moves appeal to the female. Why? To discover the best mating dance? Why?

So the best dancers can mate? And the human species will weed out the wall flowers? So that men can know what to do on the dance floor? So? Well, why not? This is science? Scientists must know everything, correct?

? To prevent bias, such as having a dude who looks like Brad Pitt competing with one who looks like Larry King, and thus make the study just useless, the dance moves of each human participant, in the study, were mapped to a featureless avatar, and the avatars were then shown to thirty heterosexual women.

And the results are "it’s all in the neck."

$75K a year Buys Happiness?

Those scientists and researchers are at work again, busting their brains to come up with stuff. that --Well!

A survey, reported in yesterday's, (Tuesday), edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, of "50,000 Americans conducted in 2008 and 2009 for the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index that included questions on people's day-to-day happiness and their overall life satisfaction, (concluded) that Happiness got better as income rose but the effect leveled out at $75,000.. Their overall sense of success or well-being continued to rise as their earnings grew beyond that point."

But $75K is the happiness point, below that we're all miserable?

According to the Associated Press, Angus Deaton, an economist at the Center for Health and Wellbeing at Princeton University, said "For folks making less than (75K) -- Stuff is so in your face it's hard to be happy. It interferes with your enjoyment."

Hmm? Suppose folks make $74, 999? They must be fit to be tried in their misery? Huh?

No Parole for John Lennon's Killer

John Lennon's killer was again denied parole in New York, yesterday, Tuesday, he has served nearly 30 years for assassinating John Lennon, the ex-Beatle, outside John Lennon's New York City apartment building in December of 1980. See the video.

John Lennon is an international pop music icon. He was assassinated, because, during his life, he was an international pop music icon. His death wasn't a crime of passion, wasn't the result of some accident in the heat of the moment, didn't happened because of some other criminal act, wasn't done for money, for political or for religious reasons, or even for random reckless amusement, was done deliberately, because he was John Lennon.

A completely innocent man is deliberately gunned down and his murderer expects parole? An icon of a generation is cut down and his killer expects to be let out of jail?

John Lennon belongs to history, that means he belongs to all of us, of his generation, to ever grant parole to his assassin would be an outrage against us all.

Angelina Jolie Doing Good

Angelina Jolie, in her role as a United Nation's Goodwill Ambassador, visited the flood areas of Pakistan, yesterday, Tuesday. The UN hopes that Ms. Jolie will draw attention to long-term needs of flood-hit victims in Pakistan, and will help spur the international community to continue to send aid to that country.

France 24News reports that "The floods that hit Pakistan at the end of July have caused the worst natural disaster in the countries history. They continue to blanket a fifth of the country and and mass homelessness, disease and potential short term food shortages are still major causes for concern." See the videos.

Spreading goodwill is something that Ms. Jolie does well . She has a history of helping out, of going into areas of natural disasters, where the people need the aid of the international community , and of pitching in, giving her time, her talent and her money.

Sarah Palin's "America"

America you've given me millions and now I'm wealthy.

America two campaign managers and a GOP candidate August 27th, 2008.

I can't spell my own thoughts.

America when will you start another oil war?

I miss building atom bombs.

America when will you be evangelical?

When will you be pro-life?

When will you raise taxes on the poor?

When will you be stupid enough for your thousands of Tea Party activists?

America why are your libraries not full of my books?

I'm sick of your spend-o-crat liberals.

When will I be able to walk into a grocery store and see no organic products?

America after all it is I who is perfect and nobody else.

Your regulations are too much for me.

One day they'll make me a saint.

There must be some other way to exploit my family.

Obama's in office I think he'll get re-elected it's sinister.

I refuse to to cave to logic.

America stop voting the rich don't like it.

America the oil platforms are burning.

We should drill new ones.

I still read all the newspapers.

Every day some banker makes another million.

America I feel sentimental about Westboro Baptist Church.

America I used to be fundamentalist when I was a kid.

I still am.

I smoke marijuana but pretend I don't.

I sit in my hotel suite for days on end and order room service on somebody else's dime.

When I go back to Alaska I do photo ops and never visit my friends.

You should have seen me reading Dan Brown and thinking it was good.

America I still haven't told you what I really said to Levi when I heard Bristol was pregnant.

 

Are you going to let your people listen to Fox News?

I'm always on Fox News.

There's a story about me at least once a week.

Its newscasters talk about me like I'm some sort of savior.

They're always telling me about accountability.

Politicians have to be accountable. Businessmen have to be accountable.

Everybody has to be accountable except apparently me.

 

I'd better consider my undeserved resources.

My undeserved resources are $250,000 speaking engagements

Millions in ghost-written book sales

A massive number of pointless PAC contributions

And TV shows that exploit my home state and family.

I say nothing about the underprivileged who have no health care.

I have confused the national dialogue.

Tomorrow I'll confuse the world.

 

America it's them bad terrorists.

Them terrorists them terrorists and them Mexicans.

And them terrorists.

Them terrorists hate our freedom.

Them terrorists want to take away our televisions.

Our news cycle wouldn't be complete without them terrorists.

It's true I don't want to get a real job

Or take responsibility for the damage I do to society.

I'm inarticulate and under-educated anyway.

America I'm putting my pointless shoulder to the wheel.


Stylish Costume Fake Mustache - $2.49 Shipped

Just in time for Halloween (or at least it will be by the time you get it - shipping from China takes about 2 - 3 weeks) you can now get your very own collection of fake mustaches! This is a great deal if your in the market - all of these fancy lip warmers for under 3 bucks - including shipping! How lovely - and no coupon needed! Do I see a mustache party in your future - I think I do!

I have a load of ideas on how to use these (in case you have no imagination) if you already have your Halloween costume planned and do not need a mustache read the next paragraph. First let's get the costumes out of the way: "Jacob from Twilight who let himself go" (consisting of this mustache, a bottle of alcohol, and a "will drink for booze" cardboard sign); "Elian Gonzalez all grown up" (needing just this mustache, a cigar, and some hot arm candy); you could also be Vili Fualaau (google it) or my personal favorite "Heidi Montag" (just the mustache will do for both of them).

This could also prove very useful if you need to spy on someone - be it a cheating partner, your grade school nurse who won't return your calls, or that person you write to every single day on the craigslist missed connections. Have a cold sore? You know the one you must have gotten from a toilet seat - cover it up with a fancy self adhesive mustache and nobody will ask any embarrassing questions! You could even use these to cover your bald spot - I am positive a fake mustache will give your comb over that extra little something.  If your not of legal drinking age you can use this mustache along with your friends-cousins-older-brothers ID to score some sweet adult beverages (just make sure to take it to one of the "locally owned" places).  Maybe wear a fake mustache to bed at night to scare intruders. The possibilities are almost literally endless - but I am sure the supplies are limited (that is like commercial worthy right there).

I bet you can think of a ton of things to do with a fake mustache on your own - but in case you need one more - you could even make them into mustache art and wow your friends with your keen eye for aesthetics!

Whatever your reason may be I say get these cheap mustaches today -  and that $2.49 investment will eventually pay for itself!

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