Girls Will Be Girls...

Okay, so I understand this movie is a few years old - Sue me (speak to my lawyer first) - BUT it is totally worth a shout out.

I have recently become reaquainted with the movie and it is still SO GOOD.

From Vodka swilling, washed up actress Evie Harris to lonely, homely, spinster Coco and overeating, up-and-coming Varla - this movie's really got it all!

I cant tell you how much I can relate with the characters. Actually I guess I can... and personally not very well. However, they are all so over the top and on a mission of laughter that I just can't say enough good things. This movie is pee-yourself-a-little FUNNY!

I am personally not a huge fan of gay film - but the intent of this movie is that it's not just another gay movie. Its not supposed to be gay at all. The characters are all playing women - strong, drunk, independant ladies. I become so immersed in the plot that I almost totally forget that its men playing women (adams apples, and man hands aside - but even real life "woman" Anne Coulter has those). And if you dont like women, GREAT, as I read that this movie employs no women at all! Even the extras are dudes (but its much harder to tell)!

I think everyone who hasn't seen this movie (or hasn't seen it in awhile) should go out and watch it! You will be glad you did!

And if you don't want to spend the money to rent/buy this film you can watch 3 mini films created after the movie FREE on YouTube. Just look up "The Jizz Party", "Girl Stalk", or "Delivering Coco" - all equally as hilarious as the film itself!

Second Life Sex Play aka "Age Play"

The virtual world of Second Life is getting weirder. When my friend first showed me Second Life, I thought most of the avatars were a bit of a snooze, but was impressed in a strange sort of way when his “character” got virtually humped by a woman with breasts the size of China as an advertisement for a sex shop. We both lamented the fact that our real life sex lives weren’t as exciting and forgot the incident. 

Since that time, some bizarre news has come out of Second Life: second-life millionaires, Second-Life couples, and the resultant divorces. None of which are particularly disturbing at all, just matters of interest. Second Life, though, is now going a bit too far- one virtual rape has been reported, which I don’t quite understand, and now, there are  believed to be “fake kids” having sex with” fake adults”. Normally this would be termed pedophilia, but in the world of Second Life, which is only open to adults, it is called "age play".

In 2007, a British reporter went "undercover" (not literally!) and created a Second Life avatar. He reported seeing children playing on swings  offering sex.

Second Life, previously took the high road on the issue and did not regulate this type of play. Now, however, according the Second Life Wiki, "age play" meaning   "sexual congress' with a child avatar is illegal under the system. How well this is enforced remains to be seen, however.

I’m thinking there are definitely two sides to the issue of "age play". Does acting out sex with kids in Second Life give someone the idea that it’s ok to do in real life or does it actually prevent them from acting out their real life fantasies of molesting actual children? The psychologist interviewed by Cnet didn’t really seem to have a definitive answer, either.

Another fear is that young people new to the game might interpret this young person as someone close to their age, when in fact, it could be a much, much older person "behind the curtain" or "between the sheets". Kids are barred from Second Life as a matter of policy and are kicked out if their age is revealed, but I’m not sure how difficult it would be for a tech-savvy youth to put in a fake age and log-in.

What do you think? A bunch of crap about nothing or something that needs to be looked at more seriously?

Coming Soon - Nightmare on Elm Street Remake (2010) Announces Newest Cast Members

Rooney Mara as Nancy
Kyle Gallner as Quentin
Thomas Dekker as Jesse
Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Krueger
Kellan Lutz as Dean

I am so excited for this movie to come out - I can barely contain myself! Like most people who didnt get much out of the 90's, or the early 00's, I am still living the dream in the 80's! What is more 80's than Freddy Krueger? Well besides the obvious ...

I know that this remake will probably be a total mockery of the original, but a boy can have some hope can't he?

If anyone gets any more breaking NMoES10 news please pass it along! I cant sleep without knowing whats next!

Oh yeah and it's too bad Mister Rogers is dead, otherwise I would be EVEN MORE EXCITED that 2 of my favorite childhood terrors teamed up. I would Never Sleep Again.

 

Bill Der Beaver (Zoobilee Zoo) found - living life as Miley Cyrus! Transformation wig to blame.

After some thorough online investigating (mostly google, and wikipedia) I was able to uncover one of the biggest secrets to hit Hollywood since the celery and ice diet.

I have waited for this moment since about 1987 when Zoobilee Zoo first went off the air. Heartbroken and alone I vowed I would find out what happened to my favorite childhood character - Bill Der Beaver. He has been living in secret as pop sensation Miley Cyrus. All Bill needed to do to conceal his secret identity was simply wear a wig and pretend to be the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus (former country music, Beaveresque, has been).

Apparently after the show ended Bill Der Beaver went on a "Where Are They Now" alcohol bender, built a beaver dam out of empty of Jim Beam whisky bottles (outside of Volunteer Park, Seattle, WA), and tried to kill himself. Afterall, he was a beaver living in a mans world who would take him seriously?

Several botched suicide attempts later he came up with a fantastic idea - throwing on a wig to become a teen sensation. He has lived hidden among us, in shame of course for years - but now hes been found!

Recently I got a chance to talk to Bill Der Beaver via SKYPE during one of my routine, midday, vicodin highs. Due to legal reasons, however,  I am not allowed to share any of that. The only thing I can say is that there is a pretty popular tween show out there that involves throwing on a wig and becoming an instant celebrity... and the idea was born from true life.

Sarah Silverman - America's Sweetheart...

She's got the brains and the brawn. This woman is by far one of the most hilariously inappropriate people to hit the stage in some years. She touches on subjects from A.I.D.S to zealots with ease (and no remorse) and convinces you that her backwards "Jewish American Princess" character is her true persona.

I first fell in LOVE with Sarah Silverman after seeing her roll-on-the-floor funny show Jesus Is Magic where at moments you could feel the tension in the audience form her off-the-cuff racist remarks and feigned biggotry. She has since moved on to having a very sucessful Comedy Central show "The Sarah Silverman Program" - where she still plays the part, but without a lot of the racist undertones. And FYI - I'm not a racist, so thats not what I love about her per se.

I guess what I love about her comedy is it makes you think. It's all very coordinated, her character, her songs, her stereotypes, her mouth. What she is really doing is getting a reaction and showing us how funny actual bigots are. I just love her.

I am bringing this all up I guess because I just found some clips from her show on itunes - under the comedy central podcast. She has been in my mind and my pocket all day. Check her out - its FREE! And if you like her - definitely check out "Jesus Is Magic" (can also be DLed on itunes - but for a fee) or "The Sarah Silverman Program" on Comedy Central!

 

Ghosting - a pay it forward approach.

The word "Ghost" can bring up images of cheesy movies (see picture), Ouija boards, Robert Stack, and Halloween.

In recent times this word has taken on a whole new meaning.

Notably the activity of "Ghosting". Ghosting is when you leave treats, presents, notes, and anything else you can think of for your friends, neighbors, and family. The name "Ghosting" derives from leaving these items anonymously.

 This activity has its roots in suburban areas all over North America and in the past Ghosting typically took place around Halloween. This suburban activity ussually included candy or treats and a copy of the "Ghosting Letter" asking the recipient to pass on the Halloween Cheer. However, the "norms" of Ghosting are changing. There is a small movement taking place in urban areas around the country. The purpose is to bring a sense of community and connection back to the wandering, cold, distant souls of residential buildings and office towers. A small group of people have taken it upon themselves to start a revolution of change. To these people Ghosting is a nice, anonymous gesture to brighten someones day. The recipients can be friends, relatives, old flames, neighbors, or complete strangers. This is all done with the intention that the recipients will "pay it forward" (like the movie) after their day has been brightened up a little.

I first became familiar with the new Ghosting shortly after I moved into my most recent Seattle apartment. On random days during the year there would be candy, baked goods, soda, and even little "have a great day" notes left at my door. Originally I thought "OMG. I have a stalker - again." After several nights of spying out the peep hole, snooping on the neighbors, and reading blogs - I found out I wasnt being stalked at all. I was being "Ghosted". It really made me feel bad for throwing away all of those things I assumed were poisoned. I still get Ghosted to this day and after speaking to some of my neighbors (which I probably wouldn't have done otherwise) I know who my Ghost is. I Ghost her back every chance I get.

So maybe you need a nice change in life or you live amonst strangers youd like to know. Give Ghosting a try and see what happens. You just might make a difference in someones day (or maybe life) - no sheets required.

A Titillating Performance

Remember Janet Jackson’s nipple during the Super Bowl a few years back? Do you remember how “titillated” the American public was? (sorry, but the pun is definitely intended) Some loved it, while others thought it would lead to the degradation of “American Society” as we know it.

Now, Britain has their contender for public indecency, a “vaudeville performer” on Britain’s Got Talent.  Fabia Cerra, a 35-year-old housewife, performed, right there on stage in front of the judges (including of course Simon-fricking-Cowell himself) a little strip-tease, with pasties modestly covering her breasts.

She “ stuck the nipple tassels on really hard because it's a family show, but my left one came off.”

The judges sat there with shit-eating grins on their faces, while the announcer rushed on stage to protect what was left of Fabia’s modesty. The network covered her nipple with an image of the Union Jack, a patriot move that wasn’t appreciated by everyone as 39 viewers complained about the situation.

As a result, the network may be investigated for violating indecency standards.

The judges, on the other hand, were impressed. Simon loved the performance, saying that Fabia, was “my kind of woman.” Strong praise, indeed coming from Simon. All 3 judges agreed to put her through to the next round, but might be wondering, literally, how she could “top” that act.

Facebook Quizzes from Hell

I know some people strongly believe that Facebook is a CIA plot, used to monitor us, the unsuspecting Americans. After seeing what’s really out there Facebookland, I hope it is a CIA plot because the joke is definitely on them.

The reality is that I need a Facebook quiz to tell me what kind of pizza I am.

TMI and Facebook have become intertwined in my mind lately.  Every time I open up Facebook and learn far more than I really wanted to know about my friends, my family, my acquaintances, and my enemies that I've "friended" in order to keep an eye on them.

My brother Adam is a fan of “Not Being on Fire”- along with about 350,000 other people.  I guess what I really should be surprised about is that the number is so low.  I mean, seriously, do you like being on fire? I didn’t check to see if he was also a fan of “Not having Swine Flu”, but given the amount of free time he has at his "managerial position", it’s a high probability. Thank God, he's not a project manager- I can't imagine the damage he would do.

 

 

 

 

 

My friend Jennifer, I’m happy to share, is a Diet Coke. You know, the old-fashioned ice-breaker question, “If you were a Coke, what kind of Coke would you be?”  She’s way past virginity, so I was relieved to see she was not a Cherry Coke and would have been equally shocked and horrified if she was a Caffeine-Free Coke. Seriously, talk about the heart of darkness.


Melanie, who I met on the road a few years back and seems to have way too much time on her hands is “Big Bird”,  “doggie style” and a “Zombie Balloon”. This is also WAY too much information and forgive me for saying this, but Big Bird and “doggie style” are two words I never thought I’d ever have the opportunity to use in the same sentence. And, what the hell is a Zombie Balloon?

I mean, I know that Facebook opened up its site to developers, but I had no idea that that meant twenty million stoned Jr. High students would be writing the quizzes. I tried to determine what exactly a Zombie Balloon was, but once again Facebook yielded no promising results and only offered more questions.  My search result was: “Did you mean Zombi Balboa?” No, Facebook, I did not mean ZombieBalboa, but it does beg the question,  who would win in a fight: Zombie Balboa or Zombie Chuck Norris?

Yesterday, after years of wondering, I had the chance to find out what Jesus really thought of me. I tried to be honest as I took the quiz, but of course, I wanted to make a good impression, so I may have fudged a little bit. As I recall, there weren't that many questions, but seeing as how He is pretty powerful, I shouldn't have been surprised.  After finishing the quiz,  I nervously clicked through to see my results:  it was just as I had suspected, Jesus thinks I’m a lazy sack of shit. My friends, being not surprised, made no comment on my sad post. My friend, Matt, however, fared far worse- Jesus thinks he is a sanctimonious pr*ck.

 

 

 

 

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